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Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, such as the army, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, such as the army, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. v. 2
Nowadays, we are living in a society where women and men hold the same rights and women have shown their metal in every field. Therefore many people think that women should also join the police force and army of the country, whereas, others believe that these jobs are not suitable for women. However, I stand with the former viewpoint. These days, we are heading to the egalitarian society where men and women hold the same rights and opportunities. So I believe that women should come forward and play an equal role as men in the police force and army of a country. Moreover, women can play an important role in these fields such as females are effective in communication. Furthermore, even men are joining field such as chef, teacher and so on, which were before meant to be work could be done by only women. Therefore, women should also be allowed to work in the police or military. Others opine that physical strength is an important factor that should be considered in these fields. As women are lack of physical strength, therefore they should not join police or military force. Furthermore, even men have to go through such hard training to work in this field so it will be difficult for women to go through with the same training to join this field. Also, these jobs need a lot of hard work which is very difficult for women as they also handle house, kids and many responsibilities. So they should not join this field. Summing up, women should also join the police force or military force in today’s egalitarian society.
Nowadays, we are living in a society where
women
and
men
hold the same rights and
women
have shown their metal in every
field
.
Therefore
many
people
think
that
women
should
also
join
the
police
force
and army of the country, whereas, others believe that these jobs are not suitable for
women
.
However
, I stand with the former viewpoint.

These days, we are heading to the egalitarian society where
men
and
women
hold the same rights and opportunities.
So
I believe that
women
should
come
forward and play an equal role as
men
in the
police
force
and army of a country.
Moreover
,
women
can play an
important
role in these
fields
such as females are effective in communication.
Furthermore
, even
men
are joining
field
such as chef, teacher and
so
on, which were
before
meant to be
work
could
be done
by
only
women
.
Therefore
,
women
should
also
be
allowed
to
work
in the
police
or military.

Others opine that physical strength is an
important
factor that should
be considered
in these
fields
. As
women
are lack of physical strength,
therefore
they should not
join
police
or military
force
.
Furthermore
, even
men
have to
go through such
hard
training to
work
in this
field
so
it will be difficult for
women
to go through with the same training to
join
this
field
.
Also
, these jobs need
a lot of
hard
work
which is
very
difficult for
women
as they
also
handle
house
, kids and
many
responsibilities.
So
they should not
join
this field.

Summing up,
women
should
also
join
the
police
force
or military
force
in
today
’s egalitarian society.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, such as the army, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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