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Some people believe that women should be treated as equal as men when applying to the jobs in military sector. Others think that they are not suitable for this. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.2

According to some people, women should be given equal importance as men for job applications such as military whereas others believe that women are less capable of doing this kind of jobs. In my opinion, gender shouldn’t be a factor while choosing the right candidate and women possess more abilities as compared to men in any field. Women should be given opportunities to showcase their talent to join the national defence as compared to men. To begin with, women are actively taking part in swimming, karate, weightlifting and depicts the competitive nature comparatively. This shows their mental and physical strength which is the utmost importance when joining the police force or military. For instance, a majority of games in the Olympics such as shooting, wrestling are played by women and have won medals in the respective field, highly encouraging other women for participation. Thus, women should be considered equal to men, even if the job application is for defending the country. Some people think that women are not capable to carry out certain jobs due to various reasons. Firstly, people believe that physical strength is vital to become a police officer or join military and women have less stamina for the job. For example, while catching a thief, law enforcement officer needs to run fast to get hold of the burglar. Secondly, few women prefer to stay at home and look after their toddler or in laws, whereas some women are intrigued by the corporate jobs. Thus, working as police or in the military should totally depend on the women herself rather than judging her physical power. To conclude, while some opinion may vary, I have a firm conviction that women should be treated equally as compared to men and jobs to serve the nation should be offered to the suitable candidate irrespective of the gender.
According to
some
people
,
women
should be
given
equal importance as
men
for
job
applications such as military whereas others believe that
women
are less capable of doing this kind of
jobs
. In my opinion, gender shouldn’t be a factor while choosing the right candidate and
women
possess more abilities as compared to
men
in any field.

Women should be
given
opportunities to showcase their talent to
join
the national
defence
as compared to
men
. To
begin
with,
women
are
actively
taking part in swimming, karate, weightlifting and depicts the competitive nature
comparatively
. This
shows
their mental and physical strength which is the utmost importance when joining the police force or military.
For instance
, a majority of games in the Olympics such as shooting, wrestling
are played
by
women
and have won medals in the respective field,
highly
encouraging other
women
for participation.
Thus
,
women
should
be considered
equal to
men
, even if the
job
application is for defending the country.

Some
people
think
that
women
are not capable to carry out certain
jobs
due to various reasons.
Firstly
,
people
believe that physical strength is vital to become a police officer or
join
military and
women
have less stamina for the
job
.
For example
, while catching a thief, law enforcement officer needs to run
fast
to
get
hold of the burglar.
Secondly
, few
women
prefer to stay at home and look after their toddler or in laws, whereas
some
women
are intrigued
by the corporate
jobs
.
Thus
, working as police or in the military should
totally
depend on the
women
herself
rather
than judging her physical power.

To conclude
, while
some
opinion may vary, I have a firm conviction that
women
should
be treated
equally as
compared to
men
and
jobs
to serve the nation should
be offered
to the suitable candidate irrespective of the gender.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with police or military. Other think that women are less suitable for this kind of job.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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