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Some people believe that we have too many choices these days. To what extent to you agree or disagree? v.4

Some people believe that we have too many choices these days. v. 4
Tourists are most curious to see many museums and historical sites rather than native people. The reason behind that is a lack of interest of local people. To increase the popularity of historical monuments, government should charge only a reasonable entry ticket instead of expensive tickets. To initiate with, the first and foremost reason of less popularity of visiting old buildings among native people is that they take these places for granted and thought that they are not going anywhere far from them. That's why they have no particular interest to watch them. The other reason behind it is that there have been no changes in that place from quite a long time that makes people boring to see them again and again. For instance, My Uncle who lives in Patiala, never visited Sheesh Mahal after 2004. As a result, these worth-seeing places lose popularity and fame among the dwellers of that place. However, the government should change the certain policies regarding these places which include a reasonable entry fee as many residents do not afford expensive tickets which are required to enter in most of the museums. It can be seen that poverty-stricken people never get a chance to enjoy that unique sector. Effectively, more and more people went to see these spacious regions and can learn a lot about the history of their native land. To recapitulate, government should encourage local people to visit these precious historical sites by making them affordable for every person and bringing suitable changes in them from time to time so that they can gain the interest of local people.
Tourists are most curious to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
museums and historical sites
rather
than native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The reason behind
that is
a lack of interest of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To increase the popularity of historical monuments,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should charge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a reasonable entry ticket
instead
of expensive tickets.

To initiate with, the
first
and foremost reason of less popularity of visiting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
buildings among native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
that they take these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for granted and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that they are not going anywhere far from them. That's why they have no particular interest to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
them. The other reason behind it is that there have been no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
from quite a long time that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
boring to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them again and again.
For instance
, My Uncle who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Patiala
, never visited Sheesh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mahal
after 2004.
As a result
, these worth-seeing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
lose popularity and fame among the dwellers of that place.

However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the certain policies regarding these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
which include a reasonable entry fee as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
residents do not afford expensive tickets which
are required
to enter in most of the museums. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that poverty-stricken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to enjoy that unique sector.
Effectively
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
went to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
these spacious regions and can learn a lot about the history of their native land.

To recapitulate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to visit these precious historical sites by making them affordable for every person and bringing suitable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in them from time to time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can gain the interest of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that we have too many choices these days. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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