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Some people believe that we have too many choices these days. To what extent to you agree or disagree? v.3

Some people believe that we have too many choices these days. v. 3
There is no doubt that over the last century have had lots of changes in our world, lots of those associated with the discoveries of the science and technology. Nowadays, there are many people who think that we have a lot of opportunities when we compare in the past. I tend to agree with this statement, and in this essay, I will support my view with some examples. Firstly, I want to support my idea with the invention of a new technology of location and communication. In other words, now we have the disposition of new devices, for example the smart phones, whose function could help us to communicate with people from another part of the world, when before this was not possible. Furthermore, we can have access to use a map that provide us the information on location and can explain us who to arrive in a certain direction. However, all these inventions are changing the values of the people. The reason for this is that with the use of these smartphones the people tend to be more distracted. To illustrate that, I would like to talk about the advertisements who tried to motivate the people to use less their phone and enjoy the little things that the life can give us. Moreover, these days we have the possibility to choose what we want study and the kind of work associated with our studies. When before, a long time ago, it was totally different and was available whom had a certain amount of money. For example, while the men had to go to work in the factory, the women stayed at home to clean and take care of the family. Whereas, now we have the choice to choose and not always, we take advantage of that. To sum up, over the years, we had the opportunity to improve our quality of life thanks to the new technologies and all the changes that the human being could experiment and for all these reasons, I tend to agree with the statement.
There is no doubt that over the last century have had lots of
changes
in our world, lots of those associated with the discoveries of the science and technology. Nowadays, there are
many
people
who
think
that we have
a lot of
opportunities when we compare in the past. I tend to
agree
with this statement, and in this essay, I will support my view with
some
examples.

Firstly
, I want to support my
idea
with the invention of a new technology of location and communication.
In other words
,
now
we have the disposition of new devices,
for example
the smart phones, whose function could
help
us to communicate with
people
from another part of the world, when
before
this was not possible.
Furthermore
, we can have access to
use
a map that provide us the information on location and can
explain
us who to arrive in a certain direction.
However
, all these inventions are changing the values of the
people
.
The reason for this is
that with the
use
of these smartphones the
people
tend to be more distracted. To illustrate that, I would like to talk about the advertisements who tried to motivate the
people
to
use
less their phone and enjoy the
little
things that the life can give us.

Moreover
, these days we have the possibility to choose what we want study and the kind of work associated with our studies. When
before
, a long time ago, it was
totally
different
and was available
whom
had a certain amount of money.
For example
, while the
men
had to go to work in the factory, the women stayed at home to clean and take care of the family. Whereas,
now
we have the choice to choose and not always, we take advantage of that.

To sum up, over the years, we had the opportunity to
improve
our quality of life thanks to the new technologies and all the
changes
that the human being could experiment and for all these reasons, I tend to
agree
with the statement.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that we have too many choices these days. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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