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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching to younger children). v. 1
In recent times, there has been a constant debate on how children should contribute to the society. While some argue that unpaid community services should be mandatory as a part of high school programmes, others argue that we should not force anything on others. I completely agree on the latter side of the argument. On the one hand, some people believe that community services like working for charity or teaching under-priviledged kids, is necessary for the children to imbibe a sense of responsibility towards the society and nation. They say kids should grow up understanding the importance of problems surrounding them so that they have a better perspective about life. Besides, this will help to teach discipline as well as the value of money in a better way so that they wont spent money on unwanted things. For instance, in Singapore, free voluntary service is made compulsory at all schools, to create awareness regarding issues and problems faced by the common people. They want to create a future generation who empathise with others and also appreciate what their parents are doing for them. On the other hand, another set of people, including me, are of the opinion that it is injustice and outrageous to force anything on kids just because adults feel that they are superior. Every individual has their own identity and ideologies and others ought to repsect it. Moreover, nowadays, children are already in grave stress and pressure from studies and the tough competition they have with others and whatever free time they have must be utilized for their pleasure. If they are forced to do charity, it will do more damage than any good to themselves as well as the society. If at all they are willing to do something for others, it should be their choice rather than a burden. Besides, there is not harm in paying for the services they do since it will motivate them to work harder in future to earn money to support their family. A lot of teenagers do part time jobs in schools and oldage homes and they should be paid if they are in need. Not being a grown up is not a reason for not to pay. To conclude, it is the responsibility of every individual to contribute towards the country and everyone including kids are supposed to do this. In my personal opinion, charity should be a personnal choice and nobody should be forced to do anything against their will or without payment.
In recent times, there has been a constant debate on how children should contribute to the society. While
some
argue that unpaid community
services
should be mandatory as a part of high school
programmes
, others argue that we should not force anything on others. I completely
agree
on the latter side of the argument.

On the one hand,
some
people
believe that community
services
like working for charity or teaching
under-priviledged
kids
, is necessary for the children to imbibe a sense of responsibility towards the society and nation. They say
kids
should grow up understanding the importance of problems surrounding them
so
that they have a better perspective about life.
Besides
, this will
help
to teach discipline
as well
as the value of money in a better way
so
that they
wont
spent money on unwanted things.
For instance
, in Singapore, free voluntary
service
is made
compulsory at all schools, to create awareness regarding issues and problems faced by the common
people
. They want to create a future generation who
empathise
with others and
also
appreciate what their parents are doing for them.

On the
other
hand, another set of
people
, including me, are of the opinion that it is injustice and outrageous to force anything on
kids
just
because
adults feel that they are superior. Every individual has
their
own
identity and ideologies
and others
ought to
repsect
it.
Moreover
, nowadays, children are already in grave
stress
and pressure from studies and the tough competition they have with others and whatever free time they have
must
be utilized
for their pleasure. If they
are forced
to do charity, it will do more damage than any
good
to themselves
as well
as the society. If at all they are willing to do something for others, it should be their choice
rather
than a burden.
Besides
, there is not harm in paying for the
services
they do since it will motivate them to work harder in future to earn money to support their family.
A lot of
teenagers
do
part time
jobs in schools and
oldage
homes and
they should
be paid
if they are in need. Not being a grown up is not a reason for not to pay.

To conclude
, it is the responsibility of every individual to contribute towards the country and everyone including
kids
are supposed
to do this. In my personal opinion, charity should be a
personnal
choice and nobody should
be forced
to do anything against their will or without payment.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching to younger children). v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
416 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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