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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.35

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 35
It is argued that high school should include non- paid social service as a mandatory part of the curriculum. I agree with the statement. This essay will discuss how doing a social service helps a student connect with the community and earn real life experience. Firstly, working in a community service helps students connect with the society. This is to say a student understands the issues, occurring in the societies. Moreover, this can lead to more and more students becoming interested in working voluntarily for different community services in the long-term, which can help alleviate issues of society. For instance, a study conducted by The Times in 2014 showed that countries such as Japan, where students are required to do unpaid community service, have a high rate, approximately 50%, of baby boomers involved in social services such as charity. Secondly, doing community service helps a student get real-life experience. In other words, students get a chance to earn practical experience and understand how things work in real life. Furthermore, this experience looks good on the student’s resume, helping students get a job. For example, according to a report in 2018 by Mckinsey, one of the big four consulting companies, students involved in social service had 80% more probability to get a job than a student without such experience. To conclude, this essay agrees and believe it’s a fabulous thought to include non-paid community service as a mandatory part of high school curriculum. This will help students getting closer to the community in the long run and help students earn great practical experience.
It
is argued
that high school should include non- paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
as a mandatory part of the curriculum. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement. This essay will discuss how doing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
connect with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
and earn real life experience.

Firstly
, working in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
connect with the society. This is to say a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
understands the issues, occurring in the societies.
Moreover
, this can lead to more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
becoming interested in working
voluntarily
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
in the long-term, which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
alleviate issues of society.
For instance
, a study conducted by The Times in 2014
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that countries such as Japan, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are required
to do unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
, have a high rate, approximately 50%, of baby boomers involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
such as charity.

Secondly
, doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
real-life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to earn practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and understand how things work in real life.
Furthermore
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
looks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
resume, helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job.
For example
, according to a report in 2018 by
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mckinsey
, one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
four consulting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
had 80% more probability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
without such experience.

To conclude
, this essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
and believe it’s a fabulous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to include non-paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
as a mandatory part of high school curriculum. This will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
getting closer to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
in the long run and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
earn great practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 35

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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