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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.33

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 33
Nowadays, numerous high schools all over the world have added free community service programs as a main part of their education discipline. Although there are some commentators who believe that youth participation in these services should be always a personal option, I strongly adopt the opinion that it should be an obligatory part of the whole education process. Firstly, adolescents who participate in the charity work, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children, gain great experience, knowledge and moral values that will significantly influence their future studies in college or their careers. Furthermore, a lot of individuals in the society will have better access to the services offered by the community through those ambitious and active students. Lastly, the government could save money that can be allocated to other services such as the construction of roads, hospitals, and other projects. On the other hand, a strong argument can be made on the opposite side. To begin with, opponents think that these free activities might delay secondary school students from joining the college. In addition, many high school students need to work to save money for their university study, and in this case, they won’t be able to achieve something like that. Moreover, due to the fact that high school students have to study a lot of subjects, so, the free services become a compulsory pack. And eventually will burden the students. In conclusion, the advantages of mandatory community service in school outweigh any disadvantages associated with it. After studying the pros and cons, I am convinced that community service helps the overall development of the child and subsequently the nation.
Nowadays, numerous high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
all over the world have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
programs as a main part of their education discipline. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
commentators who believe that youth participation in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
should be always a personal option, I
strongly
adopt the opinion that it should be an obligatory part of the whole education process.

Firstly
, adolescents who participate in the charity work, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children, gain great experience, knowledge and moral values that will
significantly
influence their future studies in college or their careers.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
individuals in the society will have better access to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
offered by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
through those ambitious and active
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Lastly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could save money that can
be allocated
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
such as the construction of roads, hospitals, and other projects.

On the other hand
, a strong argument can
be made
on the opposite side. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, opponents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these free activities might delay secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from joining the college.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to work to save money for their university study, and
in this case
, they won’t be able to achieve something like that.
Moreover
, due to the fact that high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
subjects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
become a compulsory pack. And
eventually
will burden the students.

In conclusion
, the advantages of mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
outweigh any disadvantages associated with it. After studying the pros and cons, I
am convinced
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
overall
development of the child and
subsequently
the nation.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 33

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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