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Plastic shopping bags contribute to the pollution of land and sea. Some people think they should be banned. Do you agree or disagree? v.14

Plastic shopping bags contribute to the pollution of land and sea. Some people think they should be banned. v. 14
Environmental pollution is one of the biggest challenges faced by the world, and plastic bags play a major role in it. Many believe its use should completely be restricted, and I completely agree with this narrative, as it is not only a major cause of pollution, but also hazardous to the marine world. With the age of consumerism, the use of polyethylene bag emerged drastically. Nowadays, every grocery store, shopping mall and other retail shops, consume the use of polyester bag for serving their customers with ease of shopping, and as most of these carrying bags are printed with different advertisement, therefore; it represents as big passive marketing tool. Nevertheless, all of this comes at a cost of huge environmental issue, because these shopping bags are made up of polythene which is not a bio-degradeable material. Particularly, many environmental scientists conducted research to determine the life cycle of these polyethylene bags, and it was observed that one polyethylene bag would take around a decade to decompose. Another grave hazard caused by these polythene bags is that it is harmful to marine life. For example, In the year 2011 a great blue whale was found dead on the shore of Australian beach, and upon investigation it was confirmed that it died because it had consumed a large amount of waste containing straws and plastic bags etc. If it were not dumped into the sea, the aquatic animals would not have suffered from it. Furthermore, upon decomposition of polystyrene bags in the ocean it converts into micro-plastic which is tiny plastic particles, and these micro-plastics are being infused into aquatic life, as a result, when humans consume these marine cuisines then it enters into humans too, which is a major cause of diseases like cancer. In conclusion, the exorbitant consumption of polythene bags has exacerbated the environmental issues faced by the world. If this situation continues to escalate, then it would bring doom to mankind, too.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Environmental
pollution is one of the biggest challenges faced by the world, and plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
play a major role in it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
should completely
be restricted
, and I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this narrative, as it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a major cause of pollution,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
hazardous to the marine world.

With the age of consumerism, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of polyethylene
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
emerged
drastically
. Nowadays, every grocery store, shopping mall and other retail shops, consume the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of polyester
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
for serving their customers with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of shopping, and as most of these carrying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
are printed
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
advertisement,
therefore
; it represents as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
passive marketing tool.
Nevertheless
, all of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
at a cost of huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
are made
up of polythene which is not a
Possible spelling mistake found.
bio-degradeable
material.
Particularly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
scientists conducted research to determine the life cycle of these polyethylene
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
, and it
was observed
that one polyethylene
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
would take around a decade to decompose.

Another grave hazard caused by these polythene
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
is that it is harmful to marine life.
For example
, In the year 2011 a great blue whale
was found
dead on the shore of Australian beach, and upon investigation it
was confirmed
that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it had consumed a large amount of waste containing straws and plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
etc. If it were not dumped into the sea, the aquatic animals would not have suffered from it.
Furthermore
, upon decomposition of polystyrene
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
in the ocean it converts into micro-plastic which is tiny plastic particles, and these micro-plastics are
being infused
into aquatic life,
as a result
, when humans consume these marine cuisines then it enters into humans too, which is a major cause of diseases like cancer.

In conclusion
, the exorbitant consumption of polythene
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
has exacerbated the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues faced by the world. If this situation continues to escalate, then it would bring doom to mankind, too.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Plastic shopping bags contribute to the pollution of land and sea. Some people think they should be banned. v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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