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It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.11

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 11
Although it is argued by many that some people are bestowed with certain talents at birth, others claim that anyone can learn to become good at any game or music. In my opinion, I think that any child can acquire skills in sport and entertainment. On the one hand, some people are of the opinion that children can learn to be perfect at singing for the simple reason that there are universal laws in life that can be learned and I agree. In other words, activities such as the playing of musical instruments have certain rules that must be obeyed before one can perfect such skills. This means that children can attain mastery of such skills if they can learn and apply those principles. In Baltimore College, for example, 50 out of 60 children who did not have prior knowledge of music were taught how to play the guitar successfully. On the other hand, it is thought that some children are blessed with natural gifts due to the fact that they begin to show traces of great potentials in music and sports during childhood. That is to say that these children start to carry out some activities, even better than their mates in school at a young age. For instance, a test conducted by the University of America on 500 school children showed that 200 of them could actually play more than one musical instrument better than others. In conclusion, while people may differ in their opinions, I think that young people can master any sport with great success. If children are shown the right processes, there will be an increase in children with skills in the world.
Although it
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are bestowed
with certain talents at birth, others claim that anyone can learn to become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at any game or music. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that any child can acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in sport and entertainment.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can learn to be perfect at singing for the simple reason that there are universal laws in life that can
be learned
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
In other words
, activities such as the playing of musical instruments have certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be obeyed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
one can perfect such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can attain mastery of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
if they can learn and apply those principles. In Baltimore College,
for example
, 50 out of 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who did not have prior knowledge of music
were taught
how to play the guitar
successfully
.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are blessed
with natural gifts due to the fact that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
traces of great potentials in music and sports during childhood.
That is
to say that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to carry out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities, even better than their mates in school at a young age.
For instance
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
conducted by the University of America on 500 school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 200 of them could actually play more than one musical instrument better than others.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may differ in their opinions, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can master any sport with great success. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are shown
the right processes, there will be an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in the world.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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