Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programme's (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree? v.25

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programme's (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 25
Service to humanity means being sacrificial. It is argued that charity work and voluntary services should be included in the High School Curriculum. I agree with this statement; This essay will analyse how community services will make youth better leaders and become responsible. To begin with; A major benefit that accompanies volunteering services is the development of good Leadership skills. Community services require that a volunteer is in charge of a particular project or assignment under a mentor. With the help of these mentors, the younger ones learn can learn new leading abilities that will be useful to them in the future. For example, when I volunteered to work as a recycling agent for my city, I learned the act of effective communication and delegation from my supervisor; these helped me when I was made a manager in my career. There is therefore no doubt; that, volunteering is indeed profitable to youth. Another point to consider is that; Rendering free Service makes young people responsible. The developmental phase of youth is mostly at high school; Therefore, youngsters will want to try different activities out of curiosity and lots of free time, it is reported that 90 percent of minors engage in drugs and sexual acts, during high school. In order to curb this menace, involving a juvenile in volunteering services such as; helping in an Olds People Home or teaching children sport activities, will serve as a good distraction from engaging in unwholesome activities; Hence, moulding into becoming responsible adults. In conclusion, it is evident that, the need to include community services as part of the school curriculum is inevitable, as it will help make students better leaders and become more responsible.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Service
to humanity means being sacrificial. It
is argued
that charity work and voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
should
be included
in the High
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
Curriculum. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement; This essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
how community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
youth better leaders and become responsible.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with; A major benefit that accompanies volunteering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
is the development of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Leadership
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
require that a volunteer is in charge of a particular project or assignment under a mentor. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of these mentors, the younger ones learn can learn new leading abilities that will be useful to them in the future.
For example
, when I volunteered to work as a recycling agent for my city, I learned the act of effective communication and delegation from my supervisor; these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me when I
was made
a manager in my career. There is
therefore
no doubt; that, volunteering is
indeed
profitable to youth.

Another point to consider is that; Rendering free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Service
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
responsible. The developmental phase of youth is
mostly
at high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
;
Therefore
, youngsters will want to try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities out of curiosity and lots of free time, it
is reported
that 90 percent of minors engage in drugs and sexual acts, during high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In order to curb this menace, involving a juvenile in volunteering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
such as; helping in an Olds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
Home or teaching children sport activities, will serve as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
distraction from engaging in unwholesome activities;
Hence
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'moulding' is British English.
moulding
into becoming responsible adults.

In conclusion
, it is evident that, the need to include community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
as part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum is inevitable, as it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
students better leaders and become more responsible.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programme's (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 25

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts