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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programme (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programme (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 1
Education plays a very important role in the lives of people. Some people are of the opinion that unpaid community services should be made compulsory for school students. In my opinion, the advantages of adding unpaid society assistance to the institute curriculum outweigh the drawbacks, if any. Children have very impressionable minds and institute programs should be designed in such a way that they will ensure the overall development of the child. Dignity of labour is an essential topic that is covered in the school curriculum, but it is better understood when children actually engage in various forms of labour. For example, when students are made to do community service like cleaning up a park every Friday, it instills in them respect for the person doing that job and also a greater awareness that littering is a bad habit. Some people will argue that a child should not be put through these kinds of experiences as they should be made to aspire for greater things in life by working really hard in school. Moreover, they should spend more time studying. I believe if the importance of serving the society is instilled in the children from a very early age, they will grow up to become a much more socially aware and socially responsible person. For example, in the Japanese education system, special emphasis is given to community service, though many people do not understand why it is necessary. However, the purpose of this became clear during the recently concluded football World Cup in Russia. Although the Japanese team lost the semifinal match they won the hearts of many people with the assistance they provided by cleaning up the stands of a foreign country. In conclusion, the advantages of mandatory community service in school outweigh any disadvantages associated with it. After studying the pros and cons, I am convinced that community service helps the overall development of the child and subsequently the nation.
Education plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
should
be made
compulsory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
students. In my opinion, the advantages of adding unpaid society assistance to the institute curriculum outweigh the drawbacks, if any.

Children have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
impressionable minds and institute programs should
be designed
in such a way that they will ensure the
overall
development of the child. Dignity of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
is an essential topic that
is covered
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is better understood when children actually engage in various forms of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
.
For example
, when students
are made
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
like cleaning up a park every Friday, it instills in them respect for the person doing that job and
also
a greater awareness that littering is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habit.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will argue that a child should not
be put
through these kinds of experiences as they should
be made
to aspire for greater things in life by working
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Moreover
, they should spend more time studying. I believe if the importance of serving the society
is instilled
in the children from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early age, they will grow up to become a much more
socially
aware and
socially
responsible person.
For example
, in the Japanese education system, special emphasis is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
, though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not understand why it is necessary.
However
, the purpose of this became
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
during the recently concluded football World Cup in Russia. Although the Japanese team lost the semifinal match they won the hearts of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with the assistance they provided by cleaning up the stands of a foreign country.

In conclusion
, the advantages of mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
outweigh any disadvantages associated with it. After studying the pros and cons, I
am convinced
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
overall
development of the child and
subsequently
the nation.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programme (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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