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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.10

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 10
Few individuals are of the argument about teaching voluntary service to students as a mandatory part of their secondary school syllabus. This essay agrees with that suggestion. Firstly, this essay will discuss how voluntary work for non governmental organisations will develop soft skills and secondly, discuss how extra curricular activities keeps them highly motivated and physically active. Free service to the society in any form proves to be of great learning to young minds. Kid's brain shouldn't be filled with bookish knowledge, as that's not the only thing required to face competition. They should also learn other life skills such as effective communication with all age groups. For instance, visiting an old age home and spending time with elderly people will teach them behavioural skills with senior people. Also, a trip to an agriculture farm for learning where food comes from will make them value the basic needs in life. In addition, other activities like sports can keep them enthusiastic and fit at the same time. Children mostly spend hours on studies in the classroom and tuitions which makes them very reserved in nature. However, schools who mandate a higher number of participation in sports, will motivate students to go to school. For example, a recent study, review shows, 100% attendance of students at schools where involvement is sports is compulsory. In conclusion, voluntary work should be a mandatory for creative brain development, which happens from childhood, also extra-curricular activities makes students proactive.
Few individuals are of the argument about teaching voluntary service to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as a mandatory part of their secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
syllabus. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with that suggestion.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss how voluntary work for
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non governmental
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
will develop soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
secondly
, discuss how
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
them
highly
motivated and
physically
active.

Free service to the society in any form proves to be of great learning to young minds. Kid's brain shouldn't
be filled
with bookish knowledge, as that's not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing required to face competition. They should
also
learn other life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as effective communication with all age groups.
For instance
, visiting an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age home and spending time with elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will teach them
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
with senior
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Also
, a trip to an agriculture farm for learning where food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them value the basic needs in life.

In addition
, other activities like sports can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them enthusiastic and fit at the same time. Children
mostly
spend hours on studies in the classroom and
Possible spelling mistake found.
tuitions
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
reserved in nature.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
who mandate a higher number of participation in sports, will motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
For example
, a recent study, review
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, 100% attendance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
where involvement is sports is compulsory.

In conclusion
, voluntary work should be a mandatory for creative brain development, which happens from childhood,
also
extra-curricular activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
proactive.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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