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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes. v. 3
In this day and age, young generation is the base of any nation as an effect they have an important role in the civilization, so for their self building, individuals said that some charity task to be included in their high faculty programmes. I strongly argued that the government should take action related to unpaid job in community for youngsters. Firstly, in the age of high school, students need to build their self confidence and experience by doing unpaid duty. By having this confidence, they do not have to rely on parents and having jobs independently, they can tackle their problems of life, for this government should start programs, campaigns and workshops in the school teach them. For example, a recent research shown that many countries started programs and unpaid internships to train the students for their respective a professional field. By doing this, they can have more exposure to their related fields of work. Secondly, by doing free projects in public, it will help the young generation to become socially responsible. They interact with the individuals and can get motivated by their life experiences which can be how to interact with folks on their jobs etc. They will help handicapped people, cleaning the local roads as well as working in old age homes, later on, it will help them in professional life. For example, some students stop their education at the high school level, so this experience will help getting a job in hospitals as well as factories or as a labour. In conclusion, I believe that unpaid task in society will be more beneficial for that these programs should be a compulsory part of a higher secondary institution.
In this day and age, young generation is the base of any nation as an effect they have an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the civilization,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
for their self building, individuals said that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "charities"?
charity
task to
be included
in their high faculty
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
. I
strongly
argued that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take action related to unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in community for youngsters.

Firstly
, in the age of high school, students need to build their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self confidence
and experience by doing unpaid duty. By having this confidence, they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
rely on parents and having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
independently
, they can tackle their problems of life, for this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
programs, campaigns and workshops in the school teach them.
For example
, a recent research shown that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
programs and unpaid internships to train the students for their respective a professional field. By doing this, they can have more exposure to their related fields of work.

Secondly
, by doing free projects in public, it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the young generation to become
socially
responsible. They interact with the individuals and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
motivated by their life experiences which can be how to interact with folks on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
etc. They will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
handicapped
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, cleaning the local roads
as well
as working in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age homes, later on, it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them in professional life.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
their education at the high school level,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this experience will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to get" or "get".
getting
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in hospitals
as well
as factories or as a
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
.

In conclusion
, I believe that unpaid task in society will be more beneficial for that these programs should be a compulsory part of a higher secondary institution.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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