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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.10

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 10
Charity is the best pursuit in everyone's life. It is irrefutable that high schools lay a sturdy foundation in a child's life. Therefore, choosing a right high school programme can aid this process. Many are of the opinion that an unpaid community service is a must in the tenth grade curriculum. I personally agree with this opinion and this essay will discuss the reasons and relevant examples to support my viewpoint. To begin with, an introduction of a variety of community services can instill a strong character in students. In other words, it serves as a great opportunity to inculcate moral and social values which can contribute in a transition of a child to a responsible citizen later in life. For example, while working for a charity, one can learn to care for others and, value things he possesses. Similarly, training a younger one in sports, teaches one to share and be patient. Indeed, such real life experiences make an individual responsible and mature which no teacher or book can instill. Moreover, such services act as a stress buster. This means that students are burdened with heavy subjects such as science and maths in their academic curriculum. However, these non-academic services can make them happy and tension free. As a result, students can concentrate on more difficult subjects and perform well in exams. In conclusion, it is evident that unpaid community services in high school programmes can teach vital aspects of humanity to a child. Therefore, such additions to the academic structure is most definitely a positive course of action.
Charity is the best pursuit in everyone's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It is irrefutable that high schools lay a sturdy foundation in a child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Therefore
, choosing a right high school
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
can aid this process.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
are of the opinion that an unpaid community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
in the tenth grade curriculum. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion and this essay will discuss the reasons and relevant examples to support my viewpoint.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, an introduction of a variety of community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
can instill a strong character in students.
In other words
, it serves as a great opportunity to inculcate moral and social values which can contribute in a transition of a child to a responsible citizen later in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, while working for a charity, one can learn to care for others and, value things he possesses.
Similarly
, training a younger one in sports, teaches one to share and be patient.
Indeed
, such real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
experiences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an individual responsible and mature which no teacher or book can instill.

Moreover
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
act as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
buster. This means that students
are burdened
with heavy subjects such as science and
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
in their academic curriculum.
However
, these non-academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them happy and tension free.
As a result
, students can concentrate on more difficult subjects and perform well in exams.

In conclusion
, it is evident that unpaid community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
in high school
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
can teach vital aspects of humanity to a child.
Therefore
, such additions to the academic structure is most definitely a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
course of action.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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