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Some people believe that unpaid community service be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children)To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people believe that unpaid community service be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children) v. 2
In this modern education, apart from teaching and studying, other activities play a crucial role in schools all over the world. In fact, some people consider unpaid community service as an indispensible part of every high school program. Personally, I totally agree that high schools should include these activities in their programs because of its benefits for students. Firstly, it is obvious that by joining in unpaid community activities, students can create an ideal environment for advancing their social skills. Indeed, students do not only go to school for learning mathematics or physics, but they also should learn real life skills. For instance, students working for a charity are definitely good at teamwork skills because they know exactly what they need to do to cooperate with others. Another example can be found in students who teach sports to young children. It is obviously a great opportunity to improve their healths and flexibilities as well as boost their communication skills. Conclusively, unpaid community service brings a lot of benefits for students in terms of enhancing their skills belonging to the society. Lastly, these community services are extremely useful to students’ opportunities in the future because of diplomas they received. In fact, there are thousands of job chances in which certificatications from these services can show how energetic students are. More specifically, employers have a tendency to give a priority to candidates who earned diplomas of community services when they were high school students. Also, these certificatications are one of the requirements for students who want to apply for studying abroad. Indeed, it can become an incredible strength and highlight students’ profiles to debate others. Needless to say, it is undeniable that certificates from unpaid community services of high school programs play a significant role in student’s future opportunities. As discussed, thanks to the unpaid community service, students can find a lot of great chances to improve their social skills and take advantages of beneficial certificates for their future career
In this modern education, apart from teaching and studying, other activities play a crucial role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
all over the world. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
as an
Possible spelling mistake found.
indispensible
part of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
program.
Personally
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should include these activities in their programs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its benefits for students.

Firstly
, it is obvious that by joining in unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
activities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can create an ideal environment for advancing their social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for learning mathematics or physics,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
should learn real life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
working for a charity are definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at teamwork
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they know exactly what they need to do to cooperate with others. Another example can
be found
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who teach sports to young children. It is
obviously
a great opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
healths
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
flexibilities
as well
as boost their communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
Conclusively
, unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in terms of enhancing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
belonging to the society.

Lastly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are
extremely
useful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
opportunities in the future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of diplomas they received. In fact, there are thousands of job chances in which
Possible spelling mistake found.
certificatications
from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how energetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are. More
specifically
, employers have a tendency to give a priority to candidates who earned diplomas of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
when they were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Also
, these
Possible spelling mistake found.
certificatications
are one of the requirements for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who want to apply for studying abroad.
Indeed
, it can become an incredible strength and highlight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
profiles to debate others. Needless to say, it is undeniable that certificates from unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
programs play a significant role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
future opportunities.

As discussed, thanks to the unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
great chances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and take advantages of beneficial certificates for their future career
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children) v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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