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Some people believe that uniform should be made compulsory part of the workplace, some disagree, discuss both view and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that uniform should be made compulsory part of the workplace, some disagree, v. 1
It is widely discussed debate whether or not uniform is needed at workplace because not only they are plain and but they also make the job look uninteresting. In this essay, I will describe why the uniform is mandatory for particular jobs and then I will describe the demerits of having an uncomfortable dress. Uniform plays an important role in the organization. Firstly, they act as a recognition mark for the customer to spot the company employees, to exemplify, if you walk down to a high street you will notice most brands employee wearing formal attire that uniform will help marketing and advertising of the brands. Moreover, employees can get rid of wasting their exclusive dresses for their office purpose, further, with the aid of uniform, the employee can save their time and money. Certainly, the poor designed clothes results in restricted performance, this may cause difficulty for the worker since they found them constricting to their work output, for example, for flight stewardesses wearing skirts and pencil heels may look good, but at the end of the day, it causes discomfort for the people. Wearing high heels for long flights can cause muscular pain, painful soles and cramped legs. Hence, in an organization to wear uniforms, try to consider the feeling of the employee first, because they are the one, who have to wear all the day. Conclusion, uniform can be served as a form of identity for the organization, on the other hand it can be a liability for the employee, the companies must take into account their worker's sentiments before implementing uniform culture, In my view the demerits of wearing the uniform can be avoided by designing the kind of uniform that satisfy company and employee both.
It is
widely
discussed debate
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
is needed
at workplace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they are plain and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the job look uninteresting. In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
is mandatory for particular jobs and then I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the demerits of having an uncomfortable dress.

Uniform plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the organization.
Firstly
, they act as a recognition mark for the customer to spot the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
, to exemplify, if you walk down to a high street you will notice most
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "brands'" or "brand's"?
brands
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
wearing formal attire that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
marketing and advertising of the brands.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of wasting their exclusive dresses for their office purpose,
further
, with the aid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
can save their time and money.

Certainly
, the poor designed clothes results in restricted performance, this may cause difficulty for the worker since they found them constricting to their work output,
for example
, for flight stewardesses wearing skirts and pencil heels may look
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day, it causes discomfort for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Wearing high heels for long flights can cause muscular pain, painful soles and cramped legs.
Hence
, in an organization to wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
, try to consider the feeling of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
first
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are the one, who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wear all the day.

Conclusion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
can
be served
as a form of identity for the organization,
on the other hand
it can be a liability for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take into account their worker's sentiments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
implementing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
culture, In my view the demerits of wearing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
can
be avoided
by designing the kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
that satisfy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
both.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that uniform should be made compulsory part of the workplace, some disagree, v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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