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Over the past fifty years, international sports events such as the Olympic Games and world cup competitions have played an increasingly important role in our society. However, many people think such events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort. Do you agree? v.3

Over the past fifty years, international sports events such as the Olympic Games and world cup competitions have played an increasingly important role in our society. However, many people think such events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort. Do you agree? v. 3
International sports events like the Olympics have become very famous in previous decades. Some people are of the opinion that events like of this scale are a huge waste of resources and amount. I tend to agree with this viewpoint completely. Firstly, the Olympic Games required huge spending on Infrastructure sector. It requires the construction of multiple high standard sports arenas, sport complex and hotel projects. These five start buildings later turned out to be vacant and open for vandalism once the event is completed. The recent example was seen after the Beijing 2008 Olympics, where all these sport facilities were turned as “Ghost Towns”. Moreover, such events cause extra financial burden on the city residents. They are forced to pay extra taxes to cater cost of such events. Recently, the City of Calgary residents turned down the Provincial government proposal to host the 2026 Olympic games due to such fears. On the other hand, one group of people say that such large-scale events are beneficial for promoting the tourism industry. People from all over the world travel to the host country to watch the games and thus it gives a boost to the country’s economic position and increase the revenue. For instance, Calgary has seen a huge influx of tourists every year since the last Olympic event organized in 1980’s. To conclude, the Olympic games can benefit the country’s tourism industry, but the cost to organize such events marginally outweigh the short-term benefits. Therefore, I agree with the statement that it is indeed huge waste of any country’s spending.
International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
like the Olympics have become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
in previous decades.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
like of this scale are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
waste of resources and amount. I tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this viewpoint completely.

Firstly
, the Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
spending on Infrastructure sector. It requires the construction of multiple high standard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
arenas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
complex and hotel projects. These five
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
buildings later turned out to be vacant and open for vandalism once the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
is completed
. The recent example was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
after the Beijing 2008 Olympics, where all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities
were turned
as “Ghost Towns”.

Moreover
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
cause extra financial burden on the city residents. They
are forced
to pay extra taxes to cater cost of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. Recently, the City of Calgary residents turned down the Provincial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
proposal to host the 2026 Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
due to such fears.

On the other hand
, one group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that such large-scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are beneficial for promoting the tourism industry.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
from all over the world travel to the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
thus
it gives a boost to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economic position and increase the revenue.
For instance
, Calgary has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
influx of tourists every year since the last Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
organized
The article is probably missing here: "in the 1980’s".
in 1980’s
.

To conclude
, the Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
tourism industry,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the cost to organize such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
marginally
outweigh the short-term benefits.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that it is
indeed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
waste of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
spending.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Over the past fifty years, international sports events such as the Olympic Games and world cup competitions have played an increasingly important role in our society. However, many people think such events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort. Do you agree? v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
260 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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