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Some people believe that to improve driving standards it is better for drivers to take road safety courses; others think that strict punishment is more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people believe that to improve driving standards it is better for drivers to take road safety courses; others think that strict punishment is more effective. v. 2
Carrying Out driving standards have been considerably investigated by police. Yet, there is still little understanding of which method is more efficient when it comes to making drivers abiding those standards. While some people side with the importance of safety classes, others and I stand for strict punishment for it. Firstly, providing courses for teaching drivers to observe the regulations and laws could be undoubtedly costly. In other words, the government, as the main responsible in this matter, must construct institutions and classes to meet the demand for implementing this method. This, also, include pedagogical experts, class' s instruments, staff and etc. needed. Moreover, it seems highly unlikely to gather drivers who are driving for years and teach them how to drive. An obvious reason for this is that they firmly believe that they have learned everything about driving through experience. Even If the police be able to oblige them to take the courses, they won' t accept what they would be thought in those classes. The barriers which exist in this regard make it impossible to happen and being executed, though. Additionally, setting the punishment for driving crimes has been evaluated as an effective deterrent over the years. These punishments range from a simple fine to imprisonment the one who commits the crime. In fact, most people normally escape from being arrested by the police and undergo any kind of punishment. This might be because of human instinct or running from inconveniences in life. The only matter of concern in this regard would be conveying the ratified laws and raise awareness of them to the drivers. I strongly stand to the point that if the drivers are aware of the laws and the punishments, they won' t breaking them and observe them as a high priority. To draw a vivid conclusion, providing courses to teach drivers how to drive safely could be not only costly but also ineffective, though passing law to punish inconsiderate drivers could be more efficient and less costly.
Carrying Out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
standards have been
considerably
investigated by police.
Yet
, there is
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
understanding of which method is more efficient when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
abiding those standards. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
side with the importance of safety
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
, others and I stand for strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for it.

Firstly
, providing courses for teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
to observe the regulations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
could be
undoubtedly
costly.
In other words
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, as the main responsible in this matter,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
construct institutions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the demand for implementing this method. This,
also
, include pedagogical experts,
Possible spelling mistake found.
class&
#039; s instruments, staff
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. needed.
Moreover
, it seems
highly
unlikely to gather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
for years and teach them how to drive. An obvious reason for this is that they
firmly
believe that they have learned everything about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
through experience. Even If the police be able to oblige them to take the courses, they
Possible spelling mistake found.
won&
#039; t accept what they would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
. The barriers which exist in this regard
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it impossible to happen and
being executed
, though.

Additionally
, setting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
crimes has
been evaluated
as an effective deterrent over the years. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
range from a simple fine to imprisonment the one who commits the crime. In fact, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
normally
escape from
being arrested
by the police and undergo any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
. This might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of human instinct or running from inconveniences in life. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
matter of concern in this regard would be conveying the ratified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
and raise awareness of them to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
. I
strongly
stand to the point that if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
are aware of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
, they
Possible spelling mistake found.
won&
#039; t breaking them and observe them as a high priority.

To draw a vivid conclusion, providing courses to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
how to drive
safely
could be not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
costly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
ineffective, though passing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
to punish inconsiderate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
could be more efficient and less costly.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that to improve driving standards it is better for drivers to take road safety courses; others think that strict punishment is more effective. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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