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some people think that strict punishment for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures could be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.2

some people think that strict punishment for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures could be more effective in improving road safety. v. 2
Road Safety has been a novel topic that attracts great attention in recent years. it is argued that commuting offenders are necessary to suffer strict penalization to curtail accident occurrences. Otherwise, some people advocate that road safety would be modified by taking other productive countermeasures. This essay aims to elaborate both views and express my opinion. On the one hand people have their own reasons to emphasizing driving offences should be received punishment. First, is likely to promote safely driving habit among ordinary commuters because they would tend to avoid repeating the same mistakes and transport in precaution. Secondly, after observing other' s compensation the whole innocent citizen will raise their awareness about driving skills. As a result, it contributes to shape the driving behavior of the entire Society. On the other hand, applying their other formulations to regulate traffic problems should be taken into account. From my perspective, rather than forcing offenders to suffer punishment, it is advisable to educate them adequate knowledge about commuting safety. For instance, trainee need to have proficent experience in coping with different situation and recognizing accurately the complexity of road conditions before passing license test. In addition to this, the government had better invest on traffic transport system and other facilities such as stop lights, stop signs with a view to improving road conditions - a better proactive measures to protect people occupants. In conclusion, as far as I concerned, before having severe penalization for offensive driver, the government should consider to take some methods to boost road user' s knowledge of rules or defence driving skills to combat against traffic accidents.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Road
Safety has been a novel topic that attracts great attention in recent years.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is argued
that commuting offenders are necessary to suffer strict penalization to curtail accident occurrences.
Otherwise
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
advocate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety would
be modified
by taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
productive countermeasures. This essay aims to elaborate both views and express my opinion.

On the one hand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
reasons to emphasizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
should
be received
punishment.
First
, is likely to promote
safely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
habit among ordinary commuters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they would tend to avoid repeating the same mistakes and transport in precaution.
Secondly
, after observing
Possible spelling mistake found.
other&
#039; s compensation the whole innocent citizen will raise their awareness about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
As a result
, it contributes to shape the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
behavior of the entire Society.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, applying their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
formulations to regulate traffic problems should
be taken
into account. From my perspective,
rather
than forcing offenders to suffer punishment, it is advisable to educate them adequate knowledge about commuting safety.
For instance
, trainee need to have
Possible spelling mistake found.
proficent
experience in coping with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situation and recognizing
accurately
the complexity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
conditions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
passing license
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
.
In addition
to this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
had better invest on traffic transport system and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
facilities such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
lights,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
signs with a view to improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
conditions
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
a better proactive measures to protect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
occupants.

In conclusion
, as far as I concerned,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
having severe penalization for offensive driver, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
The verb 'consider' is used with the gerund form: "consider taking".
consider to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
methods to boost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
Possible spelling mistake found.
user&
#039; s knowledge of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
or
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to combat against traffic accidents.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay some people think that strict punishment for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures could be more effective in improving road safety. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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