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Some people believe that to become the vegetarian is the only way to keep healthy. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people believe that to become the vegetarian is the only way to keep healthy. v. 1
The awareness of a healthier lifestyle has made numerous people alter their dietary habits. While I concede that eating only fruits and vegetables is associated with a few benefits for one’s health, I would contend that there are also other factors play prindispensable roles in improving human health. On the one hand, there are two compelling reasons as to why those who avoid the intake of meat, to some extent, can keep their health. From the perspective of elderly people, a vegetarian diet helps them reduce the risk of chronic diseases such as hypertension, diabetes. This is because when there are not any foods made from meat in their meals, they can refrain from excessive intakes of sugar, fat, and calorie which are the main culprits of health problems among older generation. In terms of youngsters, eating fruits and vegetables can provide them with a great way to improve their physical health. A clear explanation is that when young people have a habit of eating the plenty of these foods, they can be supplied with enough nutrients and vitamins that may help them keep fit. On the other hand, I am firmly convinced that the vegetarian is not only and best strategy to guarantee/ensure health. Firstly, strengthening physical condition and endurance is also a commendable way. To explain, the habit of doing physical activities may help people relax their bodies and ease their mind, which may lead to an improvement in both physical and mental health. Secondly, achievement work-life balance is another way to ensure one’s health index in the modern world. The reason for this is that nowadays people usually have to face fierce competition and huge pressure deriving from either study or work, that may undermine their health. In conclusion, I accept that the dietary exerts some positive effects on people health condition such as mitigating some serious diseases of older people and enhancing the physique of young people. However, I would argue that regular sports activities and improving the balanced in life are other factors that may guarantee health.
The awareness of a healthier lifestyle has made numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
alter their dietary habits. While I concede that eating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
fruits and vegetables
is associated
with a few benefits for one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, I would contend that there are
also
other factors play
Possible spelling mistake found.
prindispensable
roles in improving human health.

On the one hand, there are two compelling reasons as to why those who avoid the intake of meat, to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. From the perspective of elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, a vegetarian diet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of chronic diseases such as hypertension, diabetes. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when there are not any foods made from meat in their meals, they can refrain from excessive intakes of sugar,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, and calorie which are the main culprits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems among older generation. In terms of youngsters, eating fruits and vegetables can provide them with a great way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
explanation is that when young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a habit of eating the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of these foods, they can
be supplied
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
nutrients and vitamins that may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit.

On the other hand
, I am
firmly
convinced that the vegetarian is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
and best strategy to guarantee/ensure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Firstly
, strengthening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
condition and endurance is
also
a commendable way. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, the habit of doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
relax their bodies and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
their mind, which may lead to an improvement in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Secondly
, achievement work-life balance is another way to ensure one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
index in the modern world.
The reason for this is
that nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face fierce competition and huge pressure deriving from either study or work, that may undermine their health.

In conclusion
, I accept that the dietary exerts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
condition such as mitigating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious diseases of older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and enhancing the physique of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, I would argue that regular sports activities and improving the balanced in life are other factors that may guarantee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that to become the vegetarian is the only way to keep healthy. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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