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Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the government. v.5

Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the government. v. 5
Earnings play a significant role in human's life - it is useful for fulfilling dreams. Some group of people bolsters that they should save their earnings and should not pay it to taxation department. I disagree with this statement at a certain extent. Paying tax for rich people is fair, but not for poor. My arguments relating to this statement are described in the upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, its positive consequences, the prime reason why people should pay tax is for the development of the country. To simplify this, if an individual will pay tax, then it will be helpful for the authority to develop their country. For instance, by using tax of people, the government has constructed many public facilities like transport and recreational facilities since independence. Another significant reason is for helping needy people. In other words, if rich people will pay taxes, then it will be helpful for those who have not had enough money. To illustrate, the authority has been imposing new schemes for poor people since independence by using taxes of an individual. In its negative consequences, it will be like a disaster for poor people. In detail, poor people who earn a small proportion of the money will definitely feel angry when an obligation of paying tax is put on them. For example, a person who is earning a very small amount of money and paying his house rent and electricity bill and many more bills with fulfilling his basic needs. So the amount he earns, will spend on these types of expenses so that he can not pay various taxes. Agglomerating all these points elaborated above, it can be concluded that, however tax paying is good for the country's people itself; an obligation of paying it should be put on those people whose earnings are high; not on those who earn the small proportion of money.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earnings
play a significant role in human's life
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
it is useful for fulfilling dreams.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
bolsters that they should save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earnings
and should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
it to taxation department. I disagree with this statement at a certain extent.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
for rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
. My arguments relating to this statement are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
in the upcoming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
consequences, the prime reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
is for the development of the country. To simplify this, if an individual will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
, then it will be helpful for the authority to develop their country.
For instance
, by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has constructed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
public facilities like transport and recreational facilities since independence. Another significant reason is for helping needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In other words
, if rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
, then it will be helpful for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have not had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. To illustrate, the authority has been imposing new schemes for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
since independence by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
of an individual.

In its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences, it will be like a disaster for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In detail,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
earn a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
proportion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will definitely feel angry when an obligation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
is put
on them.
For example
, a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
rent and electricity bill and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more bills with fulfilling his basic needs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the amount he earns, will spend on these types of expenses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that he can not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
various taxes.

Agglomerating all these points elaborated above, it can
be concluded
that,
however
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
itself; an obligation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
it should
be put
on those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earnings
are high; not on those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
earn the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the government. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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