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In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both sides and express your opinion. v.13

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. v. 13
Nowadays, the problem of some counties having a small group of people earning excessively high salaries is widely discussed. In particular, some people think the governments intervene by placing a limit on salaries. In this regard, I believe that government should not intervene and that exceptionally high salaries actually benefit the whole country, especially from an economic point of view. First, in countries where some people earn very high salaries there is a high demand for luxury products and services (for example yacht and haute couture dresses). As a consequences, in these countries, companies operating in the luxury industry may develop and grow. As a result, more jobs will be offered to the rest of the population, decreasing the unemployment rate. Moreover, people with earning much are more likely to become entrepreneurs, due to the availability of financial resources. Consequently, as more companies are founded the overall economy of the country will benefit as more services will be required and more jobs will be offered. By contrast, in case the government decides to opt for limiting a limit on salaries fewer people will be motivated to work more and be more productive. This will lead to lower productivity of the government in question. Hence, the whole economy of the country would be damaged. What is more, as salaries are limited, people with high capabilities and competences would be more prone to emigrate towards countries in which they can earn more. This will result in lower comparative advantage of the country in terms of innovation and quality of the work, resulting in lower exports. As exports lower, local companies will be forced to reduce their number of employees, thus leading to a higher unemployment rate. To sum up, if governments decide to limit salaries the economy of the country will be strongly damaged as fewer companies will operate in the countries and a lower number of jobs will be offered.
Nowadays, the problem of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
counties having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
earning
excessively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
is
widely
discussed.
In particular
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
intervene by placing a limit on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
. In this regard, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should not intervene and that
exceptionally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
actually benefit the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
especially
from an economic point of view.

First
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
demand for luxury products and services (
for example
yacht and haute couture dresses). As
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a consequence" or simply "consequences"?
a consequences
, in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
operating in the luxury industry may develop and grow.
As a result
, more jobs will
be offered
to the rest of the population, decreasing the unemployment rate.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with earning much are more likely to become entrepreneurs, due to the availability of financial resources.
Consequently
, as more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are founded
the
overall
economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will benefit as more services will
be required
and more jobs will
be offered
.

By contrast, in case the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
decides to opt for limiting a limit on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be motivated
to work more and be more productive. This will lead to lower productivity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in question.
Hence
, the whole economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
would
be damaged
.
What is more
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
are limited
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
capabilities and competences would be more prone to emigrate towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in which they can earn more. This will result in lower comparative advantage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in terms of innovation and quality of the work, resulting in lower exports. As exports lower, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will
be forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their number of employees,
thus
leading to a higher unemployment rate.

To sum up, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
decide to limit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will be
strongly
damaged as fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will operate in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and a lower number of jobs will
be offered
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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