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Some people believe that there will be a reduction in air travel in the future. Do you think that this trend is a positive or negative development? v.2

Some people believe that there will be a reduction in air travel in the future. Do you think that this trend is a positive or negative development? v. 2
Nowadays, while flying makes travel to faraway destinations facile, some individuals claim that the usage of airplanes is likely to experience the diminution of demand in the upcoming days. In my view, there are some indications that air travel industry has brought various benefits rather than its inconveniences. However, there are a number of reasons behind this point of view that will discuss in this essay. On the one hand, it is obvious flying shortens the travel time to the destination. Solely because a plane travels much faster than a car or train. Besides, air travel allows passengers to relax more than driving, hence they don't have to be constant alertness to avoid an accident. Furthermore, reduction in air travel leads to increasing the intensity of road terrific jams and road accidents. For example, according to annually traffic police’s report after Nouruz holidays the high percent of road accidents’ fatality happen for the purpose of having a faraway look regarding driving fatigue. As follows, air traveling makes it possible that people can go anywhere easily and enjoy in-flight entertainments and services. Thereby reducing flights in the future, might effects on tourism industry in the world which could be worse drawback of this trend for countries’ economy and international businesses. On the other hand, In the past several years increased use of fossil fuels has caused a serious threat to our environment. Airplanes use tones of fuels daily and release large amount of carbon dioxide into air which has negative impact on planet. In addition, this dangerous gas has a huge portion in global warming. as an illustration, beyond number of flights travel every day in all round the world that give rise to air pollution in terms of noise and emission of gases. Regard to this fact as some notable drawbacks, it is the positive aspect of air traveling reduction. To conclude, although some believe flying is going to decrease one day, I think air traveling’s profits are more than its detriment for people. However, it is better to use it considerably for the right purpose.
Nowadays, while flying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to faraway destinations facile,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals claim that the usage of airplanes is likely to experience the diminution of demand in the upcoming days. In my view, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
indications that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
industry has brought various benefits
rather
than its inconveniences.
However
, there are a number of reasons behind this point of view that will discuss in this essay.

On the one hand, it is obvious flying shortens the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
time to the destination.
Solely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travels
much faster than a car or train.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
passengers to relax more than driving,
hence
they don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be constant alertness to avoid an accident.
Furthermore
, reduction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
leads to increasing the intensity of road terrific jams and road accidents.
For example
, according to
annually
traffic police’s report after
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nouruz
holidays the high percent of road accidents’ fatality happen for the purpose of having a faraway look regarding driving fatigue. As follows,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
traveling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it possible that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can go anywhere
easily
and enjoy in-flight entertainments and services. Thereby reducing flights in the future, might effects on tourism industry in the world which could be worse drawback of this trend for countries’ economy and international businesses.

On the other hand
, In the past several years increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of fossil fuels has caused a serious threat to our environment. Airplanes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
tones of fuels daily and release large amount of carbon dioxide into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on planet.
In addition
, this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
gas has a huge portion in global warming.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
an illustration, beyond number of flights
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
every day in all round the world that give rise to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution in terms of noise and emission of gases. Regard to this fact as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
notable drawbacks, it is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
traveling reduction.

To conclude
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe flying is going to decrease one day, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
traveling’s profits are more than its detriment for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
However
, it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
considerably
for the right purpose.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that there will be a reduction in air travel in the future. Do you think that this trend is a positive or negative development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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