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Some people believe online reading materials should only be used for a child to learn to read whereas others believe only printed material should be used. Discuss both view and give your opinion. v.2

Some people believe online reading materials should only be used for a child to learn to read whereas others believe only printed material should be used. v. 2
Nowadays, some parents tend to give their children e-books to read. However, the others tend to buy printed books in brick and mortar stores. They have both pros and cons in children's development. First, we are familiar with printed materials for a long time such as newspapers, fairy tale stories, . . . It is obvious that we hold the materials by hand and read them. The pros are that your children can prevent their eyes from diseases such as epic and definitely no longer use glasses. However, printed materials are often edited in black and write that less appeal the youngsters. In contrast, those who choose online reading materials for their children allegedly influence in different ways. In today's modern world, intelligent technology is significantly developing leading more and more reading frameworks appeared. Parents that are almost young people with at least a smart phone can easily buy an online e book or download free reading documents. They can save a great deal of money as well as time by clicking. Moreover, online reading materials are designed with colourful pictures, integrated with attractive sounds and other tools that help boost the children's cognitive development. In the other hand, children may lose track of time when use phone, I pad or television. Take my son, for example, he often loses himself in using technology and ignores eating. In conclusion, parents should balance the time children using online reading materials and printed ones.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents tend to give their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
e-books to read.
However
, the others tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
books in brick and mortar stores. They have both pros and cons in children's development.

First
, we are familiar with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
such as newspapers, fairy tale stories
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
It is obvious that we hold the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
by hand and read them. The pros are that your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
their eyes from diseases such as epic and definitely no longer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
glasses.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
edited in black and write that less appeal the youngsters.

In contrast
, those who choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
allegedly influence in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern world, intelligent technology is
significantly
developing leading more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
frameworks appeared. Parents that are almost young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with at least a smart phone can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
e book
or download free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
documents. They can save a great deal of money
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by clicking.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
are designed
with
Possible spelling mistake. 'colourful' is British English.
colourful
pictures, integrated with attractive sounds and other tools that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
boost the children's cognitive development. In the other hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may lose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
phone, I pad or television. Take my son,
for example
, he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
loses himself in using technology and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignores
eating.

In conclusion
, parents should balance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
ones.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe online reading materials should only be used for a child to learn to read whereas others believe only printed material should be used. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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