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Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extent does this trend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved? What are the drawbacks? v.1

Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. What are the drawbacks? v. 1
In this time, many countries are offering scholarships to the students that would like to continue their study abroad. However, they choose those students based on many criteria such as high grades, age and English language level. There are scholarships for graduate and postgraduate pupils, and mostly the students prefer to study in developed English speaking countries like the United States and the United Kingdom. In this article, I will discuss the pros and cons of studying abroad. Studying abroad has a lot of advantages, one of the important facts that we need to identify is that nations generally send the students abroad to study the majors that they need the most in their country. For instance, if a country has a shortage in the number of physicians, they will send students to study degrees related to the medical field. In addition to this, studying abroad will help the student to master a new language besides their mother tongue. Without exception there are massive benefits of learning another language, for instance, they can reach and understand more information in this new language, which will help them to extend their knowledge. Besides this, learning a new language will help them to communicate with more people easily. Linked to this idea, studying abroad will help the students to explore new cultures and meet people with different backgrounds, which will help them to become more open to supporting positive changes in their own communities. Despite the benefits of studying abroad, there are some disadvantages that we need to point out. The first one is that some graduate students decide to immigrate to the country they study in, which prevents their country from the benefits of their knowledge and skills. Furthermore, they could melt completely into the new culture and forget their original. The last point is that the student who studied abroad will learn scientific terms in the second language, which could cause some difficulties when they return to their country and communicate with people who don’t speak that language. In conclusion, I am in the opinion that countries should continue to send students to study abroad. However, those students have to be excellent and extraordinary. Furthermore, I recommend that the scholarships should be in the majors that the country needs the most.
In this time,
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many
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countries
are offering scholarships to the
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students
that would like to continue their
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study
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abroad
.
However
, they choose those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
based on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
criteria such as high grades, age and English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
level. There are scholarships for graduate and postgraduate pupils, and
mostly
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer to
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study
in developed
Did you mean the adjective "English-speaking"?
English speaking
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countries
like the United States and the United Kingdom. In this article, I will discuss the pros and cons of
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studying
abroad.

Studying
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abroad
has
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a lot of
advantages, one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
facts that we
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need
to identify is that nations
generally
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send
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
the majors that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
the most in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has a shortage in the number of physicians, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
degrees related to the medical field.

In addition
to this,
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studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to master a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
besides
their mother tongue. Without exception there are massive benefits of learning another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
,
for instance
, they can reach and understand more information in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, which will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to extend their knowledge.
Besides
this, learning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
will
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help
them to communicate with more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
easily
. Linked to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
,
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studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
cultures and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
backgrounds, which will
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help
them to become more open to supporting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
communities.

Despite the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages that we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to point out. The
first
one is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
decide to immigrate to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
from the benefits of their knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Furthermore
, they could melt completely into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
culture and forget their original. The last point is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who studied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
will learn scientific terms in the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, which could cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties when they return to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and communicate with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who don’t speak that language.

In conclusion
, I am in the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should continue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
.
However
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be excellent and extraordinary.
Furthermore
, I recommend that the scholarships should be in the majors that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
the most.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
58Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. What are the drawbacks? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
380 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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