Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.7

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. v. 7
In a recent survey held, it was found that people prefer going to the supermarket rather than small local stores due to the availability of different variety of items. This rapid expansion of stores would make it difficult for local stores to compete with these large supermarkets and hence, I strongly agree that it could lead to the closure of local business which would bring about a death of local communities. Therefore, in this essay I would like to point out a few reasons for the same. The availability and accessibility of a wide variety of household items provided by them play a major role in bringing about the closure of local business. It is a one stop destination to get all the necessary items required for the house. For example, when comparing the Lulu supermarket with a local shop we will find that the range of items available would be much more. Hence, this would attract more people towards supermarkets. Another point that I would like to highlight is the convenience provided by them is greater due to the walking spaces and parking lots provided especially for parents having infants or tiny tots. For instance, when I went to buy groceries with my infant, I found it more convenient to take him through the supermarket rather than a cold store due to the immediate assistance and a lesser crowd. In addition, they also provide certified nanny facilities that take care of children while we complete our shopping which further enhances our experience. To conclude, availability, accessibility and convenience provided at these outlets play a major role why people prefer it over small scale stores. So, unless governments intervene in this issue and encourage small scale stores to handle competition, they would find it hard to survive. Further, this could lead to serious unemployment in major cities and serious risk to household incomes.
In a recent survey held, it
was found
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer going to the supermarket
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
due to the availability of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
. This rapid expansion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
to compete with these large supermarkets and
hence
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it could lead to the closure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
business which would bring about a death of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities.
Therefore
, in this essay I would like to point out a few reasons for the same.

The availability and accessibility of a wide variety of household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provided
by them play a major role in bringing about the closure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
business. It is a one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
destination to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all the necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
required for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
For example
, when comparing the Lulu supermarket with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shop we will find that the range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
available would be much more.
Hence
, this would attract more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
towards supermarkets.

Another point that I would like to highlight is the convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provided
by them is greater due to the walking spaces and parking lots
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provided
especially
for parents having infants or tiny tots.
For instance
, when I went to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
groceries with my infant, I found it more convenient to take him through the supermarket
rather
than a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
due to the immediate assistance and a lesser crowd.
In addition
, they
also
provide certified nanny facilities that take care of children while we complete our shopping which
further
enhances our experience.

To conclude
, availability, accessibility and convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provided
at these outlets play a major role why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer it over
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, unless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
intervene in this issue and encourage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
to handle competition, they would find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to survive.
Further
, this could lead to serious unemployment in major cities and serious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to household incomes.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts