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Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. v.15

Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. v. 15
There is a controversial fact that whether there should be fixed punishments for crimes or the factors that might lead the crime should be taken into consideration, while penalties for crimes are detected. In my opinion, to decide in justice both of them are required. The circumstances brought about the crime should play a role to slight the penalty or deteriorate the punishment. Some people believe that each crime should be performed as a specific punishment that serves to implement the justice in a society. In this practice, each person who did the same crime is punished as a standard punishment. For instance, the penalty of forgery is a standard for every person. Every thief, child or adult does not matter, is convicted in the same way. On the other hand, another group of people think that each occasion related to crime is different from one another. Because psychology and position of guilty, environmental factors, and reasons and results of the crime affect the damage of the crime on people or society. Accordingly, such mentioned factors should be detectable on the level of punishment. For instance, if a person causes a traffic accident by a mistake, his position, his regret and his emotional situation should be evaluated, when the penalty is assigned. I personally think that each crime should be assessed specifically and fixed crimes detected beforehand should be able to extend or lessen. Thanks to that, the intentions lied down behind the crime could be thought while deciding the crime of a guilty. Otherwise, thieving a piece of bread because of hungry will have the same position with a theft who stole many  pieces bread to sell in another place to earn money.
There is a controversial fact that whether there should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
or the factors that might lead the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
should
be taken
into consideration, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are detected
. In my opinion, to decide in justice both of them
are required
. The circumstances brought about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
should play a role to slight the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
or deteriorate the punishment.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
should
be performed
as a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
that serves to implement the justice in a society. In this practice, each person who did the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is punished
as a standard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
of forgery is a standard for every person. Every thief, child or adult does not matter,
is convicted
in the same way
.

On the other hand
, another group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that each occasion related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from one another.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
psychology and position of guilty, environmental factors, and reasons and results of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
affect the
The usual collocation for word "damage" is "to" not "of." Revise: "damage to".
damage of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
or society.
Accordingly
, such mentioned factors should be detectable on the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
For instance
, if a person causes a traffic accident by a mistake, his position, his regret and his emotional situation should
be evaluated
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
is assigned
.

I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
should
be assessed
specifically
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
detected beforehand should be able to extend or lessen. Thanks to that, the intentions lied down behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
while deciding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
of
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
a guilty
.
Otherwise
, thieving a piece of bread
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of hungry will have the same position with a theft who stole
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
pieces bread to sell in another place to earn money.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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