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Education is recognised as vital to the future of any society in today’s world. Governments throughout the world should make education compulsory for all children between the ages of 5 and 15. v.1

Education is recognised as vital to the future of any society in today’s world. Governments throughout the world should make education compulsory for all children between the ages of 5 and 15. v. 1
Nowadays, education is viewed as an essential factor in building a promising future for our society. Leaders and other governing bodies see it as a priority issue for the world's progress and development, hence, many believe that it should be mandated for children, especially, during the early stage of their development. This argument can be supported by stating its benefits, not only to children but to their parents and to the society in general. First and foremost, compulsory education for children will hone their personality in a well-controlled and well-mannered environment. For instance, teachers manage the classrooms and make sure that it is suitable for learning. They also teach their students new knowledge, guide them in learning new skills and discipline them in order to build new moral character. Thus, the school helps to hone an individual a positive personality that will soon be an asset to the society. Secondly, if the government will mandate primary education, parents will have no choice but to send their children to school. They will need to provide necessary support, not only in the moral aspects but financial aspects of schooling. These facts will promote responsible parenthood. Lastly, through mandatory education, each and every individual will have an understanding and greater awareness of the issues to make the world a better place. Therefore, eliminating ignorance and illiteracy that create gaps within the society can be done through the mandatory education system. In fact, the schooling of children in many countries is mandatory and it reflects the needs of education for all in the societies. In summary, the benefits brought about by compulsory education are beneficial and is a vital factor in the society's development.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is viewed
as an essential factor in building a promising future for our society. Leaders and other governing bodies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it as a priority issue for the world's progress and development,
hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that it should
be mandated
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
especially
, during the early stage of their development. This argument can
be supported
by stating its benefits, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to their parents and to the society
in general
.

First
and foremost, compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will hone their personality in a well-controlled and well-mannered environment.
For instance
, teachers manage the classrooms and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that it is suitable for learning. They
also
teach their students new knowledge, guide them in learning new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and discipline them in order to build new moral character.
Thus
, the school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to hone an individual a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
personality that will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
be an asset to the society.

Secondly
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will mandate primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, parents will have no choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to school. They will need to provide necessary support, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the moral aspects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
financial aspects of schooling. These facts will promote responsible parenthood.

Lastly
, through mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, each and every individual will have an understanding and greater awareness of the issues to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the world a better place.
Therefore
, eliminating ignorance and illiteracy that create gaps within the society can
be done
through the mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system. In fact, the schooling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries is mandatory and it reflects the needs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for all in the societies.

In summary, the benefits brought about by compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are beneficial and is a vital factor in the society's development.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Education is recognised as vital to the future of any society in today’s world. Governments throughout the world should make education compulsory for all children between the ages of 5 and 15. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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