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Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. v.13

Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. v. 13
In recent days, there is an ongoing debate on how to give appropriate punishment toward people who accused with criminal activities. Some state that they should be punished by looking at the type of crime they have committed, while some people believe that the circumstance and reason of committing a crime should be given a high priority while accusing someone of the crime. However, I personally argue that these ideas are definitely true and through this essay, I will support these views with some considerations below. Nowadays, the fact shows that there are some cases given an injustice punishment toward a criminal. For instance, a grandmother stole three chocolates last year and she had to spend times in prison for several years. In contrast of the corruptors stealing a plenty of money from society but punished only a year and completed by a good service from the police. In short, the law of government should review and rearrange the constitution when deciding on the punishment. They should think of the punishment types as the consideration on punishment decision. Turing to the other arguments, the government also should pay attention to the reason why people have committed criminalities. For example, there are some cases which show the most reason of committing crime are economic problems. A lot of people have no job thus they prefer to do misconduct to fulfil their daily need. The most obvious solution is by taking the motivation of criminals as an essential consideration in giving punishment. As a result, I truly believe that these ideas are the essential consideration that can encounter the social justice.
In recent days, there is an ongoing debate on how to give appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
toward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who accused with criminal activities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
state that they should
be punished
by looking at the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
they have committed, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the circumstance and reason of committing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a high priority while accusing someone of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
However
, I
personally
argue that these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
are definitely true and through this essay, I will support these views with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
considerations
below.

Nowadays, the fact
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
an injustice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
toward a criminal.
For instance
, a grandmother stole three chocolates last
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
year and
she had to spend times in prison for several years. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
contrast
of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
corruptors
stealing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of money from society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
punished
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a year and completed by a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
service from the police. In short, the law of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should review and rearrange the constitution when deciding on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
. They should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
types as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consideration
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
decision.

Turing to the other arguments, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
also
should pay attention to the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have committed
Possible spelling mistake found.
criminalities
.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the most reason of committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
are economic problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have no job
thus
they prefer to do misconduct to fulfil their daily need. The most obvious solution is by taking the motivation of criminals as an essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consideration
in giving punishment.

As a result
, I
truly
believe that these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
are the essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consideration
that can encounter the social justice.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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