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Some people believe that there should b fixed punishments for each type of crome. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishme v.1

Some people believe that there should b fixed punishments for each type of crome. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishme v. 1
In a recent study, medical practitioners have mentioned that the current lifestyle does not involve physical workouts where people are more inclined towards the sedentary lifestyle. This issue is of grave concern as a lack of exercise leads to many health issues and needs to be taken care for healthier living. Technology has been evolving by leaps and bounds and influencing people to live in an unhealthy habit. One of the examples is the availability of a tech-friendly options that replaced physical activity. All new building has provided elevators, which people prefer to take instead of climbing stairs. Similarly, the usage of the car is preferred more in comparison to walking or cycling to work. Another influence of technology is seen in our young generation where children prefer to stay home to play video games rather than getting involved in outdoor activities. This change is leading people towards wrong choices which have an adverse effect in the long term. In the first place, the government could launch a nationwide campaign to raise public awareness about the importance of exercising regularly. For instance, advertisements and workshops by ministry of health about not exercising regularly should be shown in public media. Another way forward could be for the companies to make sure staff is attending these workshops. If organizations start to enforce its employees to exercise regularly as simple as taking the stairs. It may eventually contribute to productivity for one says, keeping a healthy mind in a healthy body. In conclusion, I believe the healthy lifestyle is vital for long life, hence, it is time that the public is encouraged to include physical exercise in their daily routine. Given this situation, it is probably best that the government and companies start their join effort to encourage people to exercise more regularly.
In a recent study, medical practitioners have mentioned that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
lifestyle does not involve physical workouts where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more inclined towards the sedentary lifestyle. This issue is of grave concern as a lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health issues and needs to
be taken
care for healthier living.

Technology has been evolving by leaps and bounds and influencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an unhealthy habit. One of the examples is the availability of a tech-friendly options that replaced physical activity. All new building has provided elevators, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to take
instead
of climbing stairs.
Similarly
, the usage of the car
is preferred
more
in comparison
to walking or cycling to work. Another influence of technology is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in our young generation where children prefer to stay home to play video games
rather
than getting involved in outdoor activities.

This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is leading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
choices which have an adverse effect in the long term. In the
first
place, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could launch a nationwide campaign to raise public awareness about the importance of exercising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regularly
.
For instance
, advertisements and workshops by ministry of health about not exercising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regularly
should
be shown
in public media. Another way forward could be for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure staff is attending these workshops.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
organizations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to enforce its employees to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regularly
as simple as taking the stairs. It may
eventually
contribute to productivity for one says, keeping a healthy mind in a healthy body.

In conclusion
, I believe the healthy lifestyle is vital for long life,
hence
, it is time that the public
is encouraged
to include physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
in their daily routine.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
this situation, it is
probably
best that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
effort to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regularly
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that there should b fixed punishments for each type of crome. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishme v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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