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Some people believe that the use of mobile phones in public is as annoying as smoking and should be banned, similarly. v.1

Some people believe that the use of mobile phones in public is as annoying as smoking and should be banned, similarly. v. 1
It is often considered by many that the usages of mobile phones in public places should be restricted as smoking has been. I completely agree with the banning of mobile phones in public places, especially where people are working and might get annoyed and interrupted. Using mobile phones in public places causes several drawbacks, Firstly, it leads to various social problems. In other words, the use of mobile phones in public places causes serious offence. For example, recent researches showed that use of mobile phones while pedestrian crossing is the major cause of accidents in both developing and developed nations. Secondly, the lack of social interaction among individuals could be the consequence of mobile phones over usage in the public places. For instance, people travelling on the same bus become isolated and busy by surfing the internet on the mobile phones which lead to the lackings of communication among travellers. In addition, there would be a scarcity of enjoyment in sightseeing while travelling. Take an example, if a person travelling by train through the countryside, the use of mobile phone makes them forget enjoy the fascinating places outside the compartment. Finally, talking loudly through mobile phones in public places such as church, mosque result in irritation, distress and disturbance to other individuals as mobile phones could be intrusive. In conclusion mobile phone usage in public areas should be restricted to the welfare of the society and the citizens because the use of mobile phones in public is annoying as smoking.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
considered by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that the usages of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
should
be restricted
as smoking has been. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the banning of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
,
especially
where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are working and might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
annoyed and interrupted.

Using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
causes several drawbacks,
Firstly
, it leads to various social problems.
In other words
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
causes serious
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
.
For example
, recent researches
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
while pedestrian crossing is the major cause of accidents in both developing and developed nations.
Secondly
, the lack of social interaction among individuals could be the consequence of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
over usage in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travelling on the same bus become isolated and busy by surfing the internet on the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
which lead to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
lackings
of communication among
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
.

In addition
, there would be a scarcity of enjoyment in sightseeing while travelling. Take an example, if a person travelling by train through the countryside, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them forget enjoy the fascinating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
outside the compartment.
Finally
, talking
loudly
through mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
such as church, mosque result in irritation, distress and disturbance to other individuals as mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
could be intrusive.

In conclusion
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
usage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
areas should
be restricted
to the welfare of the society and the citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
is annoying as smoking.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that the use of mobile phones in public is as annoying as smoking and should be banned, similarly. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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