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Some people believe that the only purpose of a zoo is entertainment. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people believe that the only purpose of a zoo is entertainment. v. 1
In many parts of the world, the purpose of a zoo is unclear to many people, and popular media generally make us believe that animal captivities are for the entertainment of the general public. I completely disagree with this notion not only because zoos are used to protect endangered species and as a research centre, but also considered as a source of education. This essay will explore how these factors justify that the purpose of the zoo is not only confined to entertainment. Firstly, animals are usually kept in the zoo to conduct scientific research. This is to say, animals are involved in the early stages of the drug discovery process in which many aspects of drugs are assessed. As novel drugs are tested on animals first, and when drug safety is established it is then tested on human beings. Take an example of a zoo in Brazil, where innovative cancer medicines are undergoing clinical trials on rabbits and cats. Thus, the zoo has the facility to conduct scientific procedures. Secondly, the zoo protects those species which are near to extinction. Since with the recent habitat destruction by excess deforestation, many species of animals are endangered. Wildlife parks provide an ideal condition to save them and increase their progeny. For instance, the Royal Zoo of London recently bought a variety of Kiwis to increase their growth and reproduction. Hence, the purpose of the zoo is more than entertainment. Finally, children and elders have a great opportunity to gain knowledge about different species of animals, their habitat, and their origin. Since the zoo has various species of one kind of animal, people get the benefit of both learning and enjoyment as well. To sum up, the opinion that the sole purpose of the zoo is enjoyment is not justified because these animal centres not only conduct research and save the wildlife, but also educate the public.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
of a zoo is unclear to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, and popular media
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
captivities are for the entertainment of the
Consider using "public".
general public
. I completely disagree with this notion not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
zoos are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to protect endangered species and as a research
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
considered as a source of education. This essay will explore how these factors justify that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
of the zoo is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
confined to entertainment.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in the zoo to conduct scientific research. This is to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are involved
in the early stages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
discovery process in which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
are assessed
. As novel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
first
, and when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
safety
is established
it is then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
on human beings. Take an example of a zoo in Brazil, where innovative cancer medicines are undergoing clinical trials on rabbits and cats.
Thus
, the zoo has the facility to conduct scientific procedures.

Secondly
, the zoo protects those species which are near to extinction. Since with the recent habitat destruction by excess deforestation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are endangered
. Wildlife parks provide an ideal condition to save them and increase their progeny.
For instance
, the Royal Zoo of London recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a variety of Kiwis to increase their growth and reproduction.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
of the zoo is more than entertainment.

Finally
, children and elders have a great opportunity to gain knowledge about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, their habitat, and their origin. Since the zoo has various species of one kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the benefit of both learning and enjoyment
as well
.

To sum up, the opinion that the sole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
of the zoo is enjoyment is not justified
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
conduct research and save the wildlife,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
educate the public.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that the only purpose of a zoo is entertainment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
315 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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