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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A zoo has no useful purpose. Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer. v.119

A zoo has no useful purpose. Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer. v. 119
All around the world, museums and art galleries have always played a very important role in educating people. While some people believe these places are no longer needed due to the availability of historical information on computers, I completely disagree with this statement. Although advancement of information technology has made data readily available to the public, I believe it cannot provide the full experience of being in a museum or in an art gallery. For instance, it is near to impossible to explain our historical values to our children if they have not seen any object or artefact in real life, because they will not be able to relate to any physical object which can make them realise its existence in real life despite seeing images on a computer screen. In addition, museums and art galleries have always been places for tourist attraction and computer technology has played a positive role in marketing these places. Viewing historical objects and artefacts on a computer screen makes it more desirable to visit the place and observe such items in close proximity. For example, tourists visiting Sydney usually visit New South Wales Art Gallery because they usually have already seen the related information on the internet and they want a hands on experience. In conclusion, I believe, despite the fact that information is readily available on the internet, it does not impact the importance and status of museums and art galleries and such places will continue to operate, whereas I believe information has worked as a marketing medium for these places.
All around the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
have always played a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in educating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are no longer needed due to the availability of historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on computers, I completely disagree with this statement.

Although advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
technology has made data
readily
available to the public, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
it cannot provide the full experience of being in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
or in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gallery
.
For instance
, it is near to impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
our historical values to our children if they have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
any object or
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefact' is British English.
artefact
in real life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will not be able to relate to any physical object which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
its existence in real life despite seeing images on a computer screen.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
have always been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for tourist attraction and computer technology has played a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
role in marketing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. Viewing historical objects and
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
on a computer screen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it more desirable to visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
and observe such items in
Consider using "proximity".
close proximity
.
For example
, tourists visiting Sydney
usually
visit New South Wales
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Gallery
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
usually
have already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
internet and
they want a hands on experience.

In conclusion
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
, despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
readily
available on the internet, it does not impact the importance and status of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
and such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
will continue to operate, whereas I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
has worked as a marketing medium for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay A zoo has no useful purpose. Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer. v. 119

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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