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TPO 24 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part time job v.1

TPO 24 One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part time job v. 1
The high price of fuel might not be a good way to solve the growing traffic and pollution situations. This essay will discuss why I completely disagree that raise in petrol will not solve the problem. Firstly, an increase in the amount of crude will cause more damage to a country. An average class citizen will suffer if the rate of gas is sky rocket beyond measure, For instance, the government will find it difficult to bring it back to normal and her people will struggle to afford basic amenities. About ten to twenty years ago, Nigeria price range was a hundred and fifty naira with the hope that the rate will reduce over time but never did. On the other hand, it will be an avenue for politician to embezzle money. Leaders of most countries have used this means to include subsidy to hike the rate to steal rather than caring for her people. Secondly, the increase rate might have some good side in reducing the amount of vehicle on the road. People will be more cautions to drive, this will drastically reduce traffic. For example, the amount of hours I spend to work on road have reduced by two hours compared to three years ago. Another measure that can be taken is for the government to provide good roads, transport systems and create alternative route for movement In conclusion, this essay discussed the damage the increase in fuel will cause also, the good side of reducing cars on the road. In my opinion, I completely disagree that the high rate of fuel will solve pollution and road problems
The high price of fuel might not be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
way to solve the growing traffic and pollution situations. This essay will discuss why I completely disagree that raise in petrol will not solve the problem.

Firstly
, an increase in the amount of crude will cause more damage to a country. An average
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
citizen will suffer if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of gas is sky rocket beyond measure,
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will find it difficult to bring it back to normal and her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will struggle to afford basic amenities. About ten to twenty years ago, Nigeria price range was a hundred and fifty
Possible agreement error. The noun 'naira' seems to be countable, so consider using: "nairas".
naira
with the hope that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
over time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
never did.
On the other hand
, it will be an avenue for politician to embezzle money. Leaders of most countries have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
this means to include subsidy to hike the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
to steal
rather
than caring for her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Secondly
, the increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
might have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
side in reducing the amount of vehicle on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
will be more cautions to drive, this will
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
traffic.
For example
, the amount of hours I spend to work on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by two hours compared to three years ago. Another measure that can
be taken
is for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, transport systems and create alternative route for
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
movement


In conclusion
, this essay discussed the damage the increase in fuel will cause
also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
side of reducing cars on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
. In my opinion, I completely disagree that the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of fuel will solve pollution and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
problems
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 24 One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part time job v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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