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Some people believe that the money spend on space exploration technology is not justifiable. The money should be spent on other beneficial things. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.3

Some people believe that the money spend on space exploration technology is not justifiable. The money should be spent on other beneficial things. v. 3
It is an indisputable fact that modern inventions have become part and parcel of human lives. However, it is believed by the majority that spending on space-discovery devices is really unnecessary. The money should be channelled into other significant things, notwithstanding, others have rallied against this assertion. In my opinion, I completely agree that the focus should be on building valuable assets like schools, roads, to mention but a few, rather than these machines. First and foremost, space exploration instruments do not pose much positive impact on social lives than easy-access infrastructures do. Pushing colossal amount of dosh in space travel equipment would mean that less of it would be left to either renovate existing networks of aisles or educational sectors. For instance, most of these social amenities are crying for renovation, and these are the state's properties that can give comfort and worry-free environment for citizens. That is to say, a greater part of the expenses should be allocated to these fraternities, instead of contrivances that can help trek other planets. Secondly, the issue of high unemployment rates can be reduced to the bare minimum if the income set aside for space-travel sets are used to create jobs. Many of the people, up till now, cannot figure out how these tools can put food on their tables. For example, numerous inhabitants struggle to get a three-square meal in a day, meanwhile, much is spent on such materials. This amount could have been used to widen the employment sector so that more individuals are employed. In conclusion, I accede to the statement that a lot of a country gains should be directed towards invaluable entities such as the construction of good roads and ultra-modern schools.
It is an indisputable fact that modern inventions have become part and parcel of human
lives
.
However
, it
is believed
by the majority that spending on space-discovery devices is
really
unnecessary. The money should
be channelled
into other significant things, notwithstanding, others have rallied against this assertion. In my opinion, I completely
agree
that the focus should be on building valuable assets like schools, roads, to mention
but
a few,
rather
than these machines.

First
and foremost, space exploration instruments do not pose much
positive
impact on social
lives
than easy-access infrastructures do. Pushing colossal amount of dosh in space travel equipment would mean that less of it would be
left
to either renovate existing networks of aisles or educational sectors.
For instance
, most of these social amenities are crying for renovation, and these are the state's properties that can give comfort and worry-free environment for citizens.
That is
to say, a greater part of the expenses should
be allocated
to these fraternities,
instead
of contrivances that can
help
trek other planets.

Secondly
, the issue of high unemployment rates can be
reduced
to the bare minimum if the income set aside for space-travel sets are
used
to create jobs.
Many
of the
people
, up till
now
, cannot figure out how these tools can put food on their tables.
For example
, numerous inhabitants struggle to
get
a three-square meal in a day, meanwhile, much
is spent
on such materials. This amount could have been
used
to widen the employment sector
so
that more individuals
are employed
.

In conclusion
, I accede to the statement that
a lot of
a country
gains
should
be directed
towards invaluable entities such as the construction of
good
roads and ultra-modern schools.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that the money spend on space exploration technology is not justifiable. The money should be spent on other beneficial things. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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