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Some people believe that the government spends too much money on developing space exploration technology. There are many others financial needs that the government should address instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Some people believe that the government spends too much money on developing space exploration technology. There are many others financial needs that the government should address instead. v. 3
In this era most of the countries around the world spend enormous amount of money for space research. However some people believe, this is mere wastage of money and governments must spend money on more important needs such as education and health care e. t. c. whereas some people feel space research is important. I support the former view as many people around the globe struggling to meet their basic needs. The people who support the space research have their own reasons to justify their argument. First of all, the planet we are currently living in faces many threats such as global warming and nuclear war, which will eradicate human life from the face of the Earth. So it is essential to find another planet which have the same features of the Earth. If the scientists find another planet human life will sustain, otherwise it will end up in drastic extinction with in few centuries. Another point they put forward is, attack of the aliens from a different planet. Scientists suspect that there may be another planet with life and people from there attack the Earth any time in order to save mankind from aliens space research has a vital role. for example, recently, famous scientist mr: hockings opined that aliens can come any time to earth and they also searching another planet with life. On the other hand all the above mentioned arguments can be conquered with arguments against space research. first and foremost, a majority of people in the world struggling for the basic needs food, cloth and shelter. Hence, it does not make sense to spend huge amount of money for the space research. It is the responsibility of the governments in the developed world to extend a helping hand to the poor people third world nations instead of spending money on space research. Another important point is governments spend money for space research for many decades but until now they could not find anything substantially. Moreover, many space shuttles have been sent to the space to obtain knowledge about other planets. The fuels for these vehicles produce a lot pollution to our atmosphere. To conclude, I strongly feel governments around the globe should spend money for human beings well being instead of wasting it on space research.
In this era most of the countries around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
enormous amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe, this is mere wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
needs such as education and health care e. t. c. whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. I support the former view as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the globe struggling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their basic needs.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
reasons to justify their argument.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
we are
currently
living in faces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
threats such as global warming and nuclear war, which will eradicate human life from the face of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is essential to find another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
which have the same features of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
. If the scientists find another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
human life will sustain,
otherwise
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in drastic extinction with in few centuries. Another point they put forward is, attack of the aliens from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
. Scientists suspect that there may be another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
with life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from there attack the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
any time in order to save mankind from aliens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
has a vital role.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, recently,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
scientist
Possible spelling mistake found.
mr
:
Possible spelling mistake found.
hockings
opined that aliens can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
any time to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
earth and
they
also
searching another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
with life.

On the other hand
all the above mentioned arguments can
be conquered
with arguments against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
first
and foremost, a majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
struggling for the basic needs food, cloth and shelter.
Hence
, it does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sense to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
. It is the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
in the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
to extend a helping hand to the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
nations
instead
of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
decades
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they could not find anything
substantially
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
shuttles have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
to obtain knowledge about other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
. The fuels for these vehicles produce
If you mean a great quantity, use "a lot of pollution"?
a lot pollution
to our atmosphere.

To conclude
, I
strongly
feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
around the globe should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for human beings
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
instead
of wasting it on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
58Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that the government spends too much money on developing space exploration technology. There are many others financial needs that the government should address instead. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
381 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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