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Some people believe that the government should make education for the elderly for free. Others think that older people should pay for their own education. Discuss advantages and disadvantages of this proposal. v.1

Some people believe that the government should make education for the elderly for free. Others think that older people should pay for their own education. Discuss advantages and disadvantages of this proposal. v. 1
To suggest that education for the elderly should be free raises many issues and it is worth considering the advantages and disadvantages of this proposal. If such a scheme were to be implemented the benefits would be dubious at best, whilst on the other hand, the disadvantages would be more considerable and far outweigh any advantages that may come about. It is quite clear that allowing older people in society a chance to study for free could have some advantages, but the key question is; for whom? If an older person was permitted to study for free this might grant them a chance to experience tertiary education that they might not have otherwise had a chance to attempt in the past. Yet while this might be of benefit to them, especially if they were unemployed seeking further work, or desired to attain new skills just to remain in work, the benefits may not be considerable enough to trickle down to the rest of the population. This proposal to offer free education may perhaps be best suited for a future time, when the effects of the currently aging population in the developed world, causes a severe imbalance in the ratio of the young to the old, which would require the elderly to work for much longer in their lives instead of retiring in order to reduce the tax burden on the younger population. Then, and perhaps only then, offering free education to the elderly might be advantageous for all concerned, however at this stage in time it is hard to see how it might be of any significant advantage to anyone or society, and may only be so for the elderly themselves. When it comes to the disadvantages of allowing the elderly to study for free, it is perhaps much more of a burden to society than it would be a benefit. Essentially there is no such thing as a free education, when it comes to any valuable service that is provided for free as it almost always comes as an expense to government. This expense would then of course be passed on to the people and would in doubt add to the woes of any incumbent treasurer or financial analyst on the payroll of the government. " Free education for the elderly" seems like a wayward promise by a backwards politician merely seeking the next newspaper headline or to slyly gain votes in a marginal electorate with an elderly majority. It is not in any way sustainable nor profitable to allow such a continuously large proportion of the population to have free education. Not to mention the loud cries of unfair play when the public realise where else their taxes are being wasted. It is also difficult to imagine that any elder who were to commence tertiary studies, would likely be able to continue working for much longer and so it is more than likely that society would not genuinely experience enough benefits to the economy considering how many more years of work the elderly are able to sustain. Any well thought out proposal that is so well developed and deserving of complete financial support from the government, needs to be carefully examined and scrutinized to a far greater extent than the one line suggestion posed could possibly make. It goes without saying that free education for the elderly, in fact for anyone, would be a luxury and of course beneficial to those that receive it. Yet it is without doubt that in such a fanciful and childish dream, it is entirely impractical and simple wishful-thinking as the cost would be staggering and the burden to society would go far beyond any advantages gleaned from this ili-thought daydream.
To suggest that
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education
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
raises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues and it is worth considering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and disadvantages of this proposal. If such a scheme were to
be implemented
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
would be dubious at best, whilst
on the other hand
, the disadvantages would be more considerable and far outweigh any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
that may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
come
about.

It is quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that allowing older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
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society
a chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the key question is; for whom? If an older person
was permitted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
grant them a chance to experience tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not have
otherwise
had a chance to attempt in the past.
Yet
while this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
to them,
especially
if they
were unemployed
seeking
further
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work
, or desired to attain new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to remain in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
may not be considerable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to trickle down to the rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. This proposal to offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
Consider using "may", "perhaps".
may perhaps
be best suited for a future time, when the effects of the
currently
aging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in the developed world, causes a severe imbalance in the ratio of the young to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, which would require the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for much longer in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
instead
of retiring in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the tax burden on the younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. Then, and perhaps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
then, offering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be advantageous for all concerned,
however
at this stage in time it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be of any significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
to anyone or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, and may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
themselves.

When it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comes
to the disadvantages of allowing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
, it is perhaps much more of a burden to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
than it would be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
.
Essentially
there is no such thing as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, when it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comes
to any valuable service that
is provided
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
as it almost always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comes
as an expense to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. This expense would then
of course
be passed
on to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and would in doubt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to the woes of any incumbent treasurer or financial analyst on the payroll of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
elderly&quot
; seems like a wayward promise by a backwards politician
merely
seeking the
next
newspaper headline or to
slyly
gain votes in a marginal electorate with an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
majority. It is not in any way sustainable nor profitable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
such a
continuously
large proportion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Not to mention the loud cries of unfair play when the public
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
where else their taxes are
being wasted
. It is
also
difficult to imagine that any elder who were to commence tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
, would likely be able to continue working for much longer and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is more than likely that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
would not
genuinely
experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
to the economy considering how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
are able to sustain. Any well
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
out proposal
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well developed
and deserving of complete financial support from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, needs to be
carefully
examined and scrutinized to a far greater extent than the one line suggestion posed could
possibly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
.

It goes without saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
, in fact for anyone, would be a luxury and
of course
beneficial to those that receive it.
Yet
it is without doubt that in such a fanciful and childish dream, it is
entirely
impractical and simple wishful-thinking as the cost would be staggering and the burden to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
would go far beyond any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
gleaned from this ili-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
daydream.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
63Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Some people believe that the government should make education for the elderly for free. Others think that older people should pay for their own education. Discuss advantages and disadvantages of this proposal. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
618 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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