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Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed by humans activity. Others feel that humans activity makes the Earth a better place to live. v.2

Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed by humans activity. Others feel that humans activity makes the Earth a better place to live. v. 2
The earth is the only planet where the life exists. Some believe that humans had made the earth the perfect place to live rather than damaged or harmed. this essay will discuss why it is in fact that people have harmed the earth rather than made it a better place to live. Contrary to the belief that humans made the earth a suitable place to live, evidence shows that people actually have harmed our planet by changing the delicate balance of our ecosystem. For example, According to a recent study from the University of Texas has revealed that the recreational hunting is one of the activities that has drastically changed the ecosystem’s balance. So, by having avoided this activity, it would help the improvement of our environment. Secondly, people all over the world are never satisfied with their achievements. they always look forward for new innovations which would help them to increase their profits. Most of the time, they do not think about the consequences or problems that these innovations may cause. For instance, with the development of the industrial revolution, people’s lives are changed for the better. However, people never looked at the consequences of air pollution that got released from these huge machineries. Because of the toxins and the high level of air pollution in the atmosphere, people’s health had deteriorated. this supports the idea that people had developed things without thinking deeply or analysing the issues that come with that. Therefore, the people’s negative influence to the earth has increased by causing a lot of damage to our planet. In conclusion, In my view, people have really harmed the earth by participating in different activities, and by innovating things without considering the issues that come' s with it. people have caused a negative impact in the planet earth.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
planet where the life exists.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that humans had made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
the perfect place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
rather
than damaged or harmed.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
essay will discuss why it is in fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have harmed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
rather
than made it a better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

Contrary to the belief that humans made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
a suitable place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, evidence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
actually have harmed our planet by changing the delicate balance of our ecosystem.
For example
, According to a recent study from the University of Texas has revealed that the recreational hunting is one of the activities that has
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the ecosystem’s balance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, by having avoided this activity, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the improvement of our environment.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the world are never satisfied with their achievements.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
always look forward for new innovations which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to increase their profits. Most of the time, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the consequences or problems that these innovations may cause.
For instance
, with the development of the industrial revolution,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
for the better.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
never looked at the consequences of air pollution that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
released from these huge
Possible spelling mistake found.
machineries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the toxins and the high level of air pollution in the atmosphere,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health had deteriorated.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
supports the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had developed things without thinking
deeply
or
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the issues that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with that.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
has increased by causing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
damage to our planet.

In conclusion
, In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
really
harmed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
by participating in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities, and by innovating things without considering the issues that
Possible spelling mistake found.
come&
#039; s with it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have caused a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact in the planet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed by humans activity. Others feel that humans activity makes the Earth a better place to live. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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