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Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that teenage should focus on the subject that they are best at or that they find the most interest. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.7

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that teenage should focus on the subject that they are best at or that they find the most interest. v. 7
Education plays a vital role in each and every person’s life because it opens the doors of employment in the forthcoming. A camp of society thinks that adolescents ought to learn all the subjects of the school curriculum, whereas another segment of persons believes that teenager should concentrate on these subjects in which they are interested. According to my point of view, learning all school apt is a better aspect for adolescents to choose their specification in their prospective. There are various reasons for it. I will elaborate on some causes in the following paragraphs of this essay. On the one side, according to some human beings, a teenager ought to focus on all susceptible because the whole curriculum is crucial for students. Firstly, a learner can fundamental knowledge and information about basic principals by reading all subjects. As a result of it, they could become able to apply it in their eventual as well as philosophy is a cornerstone for trainees to achieve a peak of glory. Secondly, reading all subjects helps juniors to enrich their intelligence and cultivate person's interests. By this, they acquire the creativity of mind which aware them to select a suitable profession during their subsequent time. On the other side, a group of humans tends to believe that it is more beneficial to learn one inferior according to his/her interest. Because this aspect brings more benefits to a pupil. When a student gives full attention to only one accountable, the learner can get high proficiency in their fields in the impending and live a better life. Moreover, concentrating on one captivating conditional enhance student’s efficiency of learning. Due to it, an individual’s stress of picking a profession has become lightened. In my own opinion, learning all curriculum subjects makes a good way for a human being to select a specification by getting ability about all subjects. Through this, they can gain multi-disciplinary information. So, the overall cognitive skills develop in a student. To conclude, concentrating on all school subjects instead of one specific exposed offers us a variety of options for taking a profession in the ultimate. By this, a learner gains more and more recognition to become multi-tasking. I believe reading all subjects make a human being interdependence and skilful.
Education plays a vital role in each and every person’s life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it opens the doors of employment in the forthcoming. A camp of society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that adolescents ought to learn all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
of the school curriculum, whereas another segment of persons believes that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
should concentrate on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in which they
are interested
. According to my point of view, learning all school apt is a better aspect for adolescents to choose their specification in their prospective. There are various reasons for it. I will elaborate on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
causes in the following paragraphs of this essay.

On the one side, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
ought to focus on all susceptible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the whole curriculum is crucial for students.
Firstly
, a learner can fundamental knowledge and information about
Did you mean "basic principles" (=rule)?
basic principals
by reading all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
As a result
of it, they could become able to apply it in their eventual
as well
as philosophy is a cornerstone for trainees to achieve a peak of glory.
Secondly
, reading all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
juniors to enrich their intelligence and cultivate person's interests. By this, they acquire the creativity of mind which aware them to select a suitable profession during their subsequent time.

On the other side, a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
tends to believe that it is more beneficial to learn one inferior according to his/her interest.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
this aspect brings more benefits to a pupil. When a student gives full attention to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one accountable, the learner can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high proficiency in their fields in the impending and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a better life.
Moreover
, concentrating on one captivating conditional enhance student’s efficiency of learning. Due to it, an individual’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of picking a profession has become lightened. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion, learning all curriculum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being to select a specification by getting ability about all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. Through this, they can gain multi-disciplinary information.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
overall
cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
develop in a student.

To conclude
, concentrating on all school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
instead
of one specific exposed offers us a variety of options for taking a profession in the ultimate. By this, a learner gains more and more recognition to become multi-tasking. I believe reading all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being interdependence and
Possible spelling mistake. 'skilful' is British English.
skilful
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that teenage should focus on the subject that they are best at or that they find the most interest. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
377 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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