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Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe the teenager should focus on the subjects that they are good at or that they find the most interest. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.3

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe the teenager should focus on the subjects that they are good at or that they find the most interest. v. 3
It is a trend and numerous discussed question that a school children should learn all institute subjects and materials or the teenagers should concentrate that subject they are good and they need or just interest for themselves. It has a useful sides and insightful. And in this essay I will discuss both sides. In this case I can say all subjects are useful for academy children and they can help for them. For example If they want to enter prestigious college or university they institute knowledges can help and they will helpful for them to adapt to the society after they graduate from university. It is obviously school prepare life in institute days and because of you can find your life way. Of course it has a disadvantage. How you know every teenager is not same they have own characters and statements so some children healthy can't and they haven't any energy to learn all subjects for them it can be tough and so their brain can't information similar. Every child chooses own themselves to enter somewhere and they need some subjects for it, and they begin interest with them and they learn because that can help them. In conclusion, both views have their merits and demerits. I would agree with suggesting teenagers to concentrate on the materials they are needed or just interested. They should spend more time and energy on their favourite courses. They also need to learn other subjects in order to be the well rounded person.
It is a trend and numerous discussed question that a school children should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
all institute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and materials or the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should concentrate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
they are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
good and
they need or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
interest for themselves. It has a useful sides and insightful. And in this essay I will discuss both sides.

In this case
I can say all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are useful for academy
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
for them.
For example
If they want to enter prestigious college or university they institute
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges can
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
help and
they
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
will helpful
for them to adapt to the society after they graduate from university. It is
obviously
school prepare life in institute days and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of you can find your life way.

Of
The comma is probably missing here: "course, it".
course it
has a disadvantage. How you know every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
is not same they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
characters and statements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
children healthy can'
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
t and
they haven't any energy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
for them it can be tough and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their brain can't information similar. Every child chooses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
themselves to enter
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
somewhere and
they need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
for it, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
interest with
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them.

In conclusion
, both views have their merits and demerits. I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with suggesting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to concentrate on the materials they
are needed
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
interested. They should spend more time and energy on their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
courses. They
also
need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in order to be the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well rounded
person.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe the teenager should focus on the subjects that they are good at or that they find the most interest. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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