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Some believe that women and men are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What your opinion? v.1

Some believe that women and men are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What your opinion? v. 1
Women have been fighting for equal rights in various aspects for generations, including equality at the workplace. While some people believe that women as men can choose and able to implement any position, others argue that women are not suitable for particular jobs. This essay will discuss why I completely agree that women can work in any job they want. The main reason why men and women can occupy the same position is related to the same inherent physical and mental abilities. There is no relationship between individual performance and gender, however, the difference could occur due to the experiences and opportunities one explores during his or her life. For example, undoubtedly females, who prohibited from the right to education, can't be qualified to do several jobs. Thus, social norms play a substantial role in gender discrimination which influences women's potential. Secondly, women are not similar to each other in terms of physical ability, intelligence or interests. Thus, people can’t define and decide, which type of jobs suits all women. For instance, while many females focus on their body strengthening to obtain a career in the sports domain, others tend to prefer academic path. In short, it's impossible to classify women according to the same criteria because of the diversity among them. In conclusion, social and economic development were the critical agents that changed the nature of women's work. Although the increasing number of successful women, who work in various fields, some people still believe that females have physical or mental restrictions that limit them to do certain jobs. This essay discussed the reasoning why I believe that women have the right and ability to occupy any position.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
have been fighting for equal rights in various aspects for generations, including equality at the workplace. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
can choose and able to implement any position, others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not suitable for particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. This essay will discuss why I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can work in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they want.

The main reason why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can occupy the same position
is related
to the same inherent physical and mental abilities. There is no relationship between individual performance and gender,
however
, the difference could occur due to the experiences and opportunities one explores during
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
life.
For example
,
undoubtedly
females, who prohibited from the right to education, can't
be qualified
to do several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Thus
, social norms play a substantial role in gender discrimination which influences women's potential.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not similar to each other in terms of physical ability, intelligence or interests.
Thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can’t define and decide, which type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
suits all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
For instance
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
females focus on their body strengthening to obtain a career in the sports domain, others tend to prefer academic path. In short, it's impossible to classify
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
according to the same criteria
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the diversity among them.

In conclusion
, social and economic development were the critical agents that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the nature of
This expression can be considered offensive.
women's work
. Although the increasing number of successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, who work in various fields,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
believe that females have physical or mental restrictions that limit them to do certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. This essay discussed the reasoning why I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have the right and ability to occupy any position.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some believe that women and men are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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