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Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.9

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. v. 9
Some say that the best place to educate children is home, but others claim that school attending is necessary. This essay will argue that, however, education at home would allow children to set their own lesson schedule, I believe that going to school would be more beneficial for them. On the one hand, many kids do not like going to school due to the strict rules and hard schedule, because it makes them feel stressed. Teaching children at home would give them chance to choose the most suitable lesson program for them, which would resulted in lowering their stress level. As a result, children's motivation level would increase and they would spend their learning time effectively. For instance, according to a survey conducted in Norway in 2018 there were significant increase in the test scores after applying home teaching pilot method among the small group of children at the age of 7. Despite this success in learning efficiency, I believe that school improves different abilities at the same time. On the other hand, school is a place where children start to socialize with their peers and learn the ways of relationships creation. These skills are basic elements of success, which can not be learnt by reading or listening, but only by practising. In other words, children would face first challenges, regrets, rivalry and find the solutions to these problems, and by doing this they would create their future character. For example, the article in Berlin Times shows that people who are good at relationships are get promoted 40% more than workers who have only good work abilities. In my opinion, school provides people with all features that is essential in their future life. In conclusion, however, home can be good place for children to learn what they need in more comfortable conditions, school life helps them to become as an individual person.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
say that the best place to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is home,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
attending is necessary. This essay will argue that,
however
, education at home would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to set their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
lesson schedule, I believe that going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
would be more beneficial for them.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kids do not like going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
due to the strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
schedule,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
. Teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at home would give them chance to choose the most suitable lesson program for them, which would resulted in lowering their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level.
As a result
, children's motivation level would
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
increase and
they would spend their learning time
effectively
.
For instance
, according to a survey conducted in Norway in 2018 there were significant increase in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
scores after applying home teaching pilot method among the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at the age of 7. Despite this success in learning efficiency, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
abilities at the same time.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a place where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to socialize with their peers and learn the ways of relationships creation. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are basic elements of success, which can not be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
by reading or listening,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would face
first
challenges, regrets, rivalry and find the solutions to these problems, and by doing this they would create their future character.
For example
, the article in Berlin Times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at relationships are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
promoted 40% more than workers who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
work abilities. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
provides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with all features
that is
essential in their future life.

In conclusion
,
however
, home can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn what they need in more comfortable conditions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to become as an individual person.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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