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Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. v.6

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. v. 6
Education is the fundamental building block in children’s development. Some parents believe that homeschooling is the most essential way to teach children while others argue that sending them to school is crucial in the children’s development. In my own perception, going to school gives children the opportunity to acquire knowledge and new information that is essential in everyday life. Some parents choose to teach their children at home where they take the full responsibility for their children’s education. Homeschooling allows them to customize the learning of their children based on their capabilities and personalities. For instance, when a child struggles in a particular area, additional resources can be brought up to bear to help. Thus allows them to work at a level that suits them. – insert one-on-one ratio. While other parents believe that children must be sent to school. Letting them enrolled in an institution helps them to develop social and emotional and motor skills which are essential to their future. By interaction with other children, they learn how to take turn, how to listen and how to share. Also, it helps them to know about their likes and dislikes. Without learning this values, they might struggle in a professional setting when they get old. In conclusion, it can be seen that the both viewpoints have their own merits. Parents who prefer homeschooling can tailor specific learning methods to the child’s need while enrolling them to school is a great help to develop their social and emotional skills. In my opinion, it is apparent that schools provide plenty of opportunities for children to learn which will benefit them when they get old.
Education is the fundamental building block in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
believe that homeschooling is the most essential way to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
while others argue that sending them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is crucial in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
development. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perception, going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the opportunity to acquire knowledge and new information
that is
essential in everyday life.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
choose to teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at home where they take the full responsibility for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
education. Homeschooling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to customize the learning of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
based on their capabilities and personalities.
For instance
, when a child struggles in a particular area, additional resources can
be brought
up to bear to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
.
Thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to work at a level that suits them.
Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
–
insert one-on-one ratio.

“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Letting them enrolled in an institution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to develop social and emotional and motor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which are essential to their future. By interaction with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they learn how to take turn, how to listen and how to share.
Also
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to know about their likes and dislikes. Without learning this values, they might struggle in a professional setting when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.

In conclusion
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the both viewpoints have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
who prefer homeschooling can tailor specific learning methods to the child’s need while enrolling them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to develop their social and emotional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. In my opinion, it is apparent that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn which will benefit them when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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