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Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. v.45

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. v. 45
Education is a vital element in a child's development. Over the past years, there has been a lot of option on how the parents want their children to attain an excellent education. Hence it brought the argument on being homeschool and being enrolled in a school. Although homeschooling provides much freedom for the children to learn on their own time without limit, being enrolled in school will provide them much of the resources that are available in a school set up. Homeschooling has been a practice throughout history, as the mother serves as the first teacher. At the present, homeschooling has been a choice for parents who commonly not satisfied with the school system. It provides learning freedom, giving children enough time to focus on one topic at the time as well as giving them enough rest periods. Commonly it is facilitated by the mother, giving them a chance to spend much time with their children creating a great bond. Moreover, making them aware of the children’s aptitude, attitude and abilities, making it easier to come with the individualised lessons and facilitate one-on-one tutorial. Another benefit of it is that it helps in reducing emotional pressure brought by bullies, peer pressure and boredom. On the contrary, this requires a full attention by the parents, limiting their time to work. Thus, requires parents to be creative in facilitating the lesson in order to gain interest and children's attention in each lesson. In the fiscal note, although you are not obliged to pay for tuition fees, being homeschool is expensive as you need to buy certain educational resources that are easily available in school settings. On the other side, attending school provides a lot of positive aspects; one of this is that the school provides a wide range of up to date educational resources. Moreover, teaching is facilitated by a well-trained teacher that can provide effective teaching strategies. Although bullies and peer pressure are present in the school settings, this will help children to be socially exposed to these factors, thus, giving them a chance to cope with it and further gain their confidence and high self-esteem. To sum it up, both choices has its positive and negative side, but in my opinion, attending school provide a wide range of necessary information as well as skills that children will help them develop well. Even though attending school is beneficial, education supplementation from home will help students to attain a high level of education. School and home teaching will greatly help students understand more and help them mould their character and attitudes that will help them in the near future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is a vital element in a child's development. Over the past years, there has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
option on how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
want their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to attain an excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
it brought the argument on being
Consider using a past participle here: "homeschooled".
homeschool
and
being enrolled
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Although homeschooling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
much freedom for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
without limit,
being enrolled
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
them much of the resources that are available in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
set up.

Homeschooling has been a practice throughout history, as the mother serves as the
first
teacher. At the present, homeschooling has been a choice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who
commonly
not satisfied with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
system. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
learning freedom,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to focus on one topic at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
rest periods.
Commonly
it
is facilitated
by the mother,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
them a chance to spend much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
creating a great bond.
Moreover
, making them aware of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
aptitude, attitude and abilities, making it easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with the
Possible spelling mistake. 'individualised' is British English.
individualised
lessons and facilitate one-on-one tutorial.

Another benefit of it is that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in reducing emotional pressure brought by bullies, peer pressure and boredom.
On the contrary
, this requires a full attention by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, limiting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to work.
Thus
, requires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to be creative in facilitating the lesson in order to gain interest and children's attention in each lesson. In the fiscal note, although you are not obliged to pay for tuition fees, being
Consider using a past participle here: "homeschooled".
homeschool
is expensive as you need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
certain educational resources that are
easily
available in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
settings.

On the other side, attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects; one of this is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
a wide range of up to date educational resources.
Moreover
, teaching
is facilitated
by a well-trained teacher that can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
effective teaching strategies. Although bullies and peer pressure are present in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
settings, this will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be
socially
exposed to these factors,
thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
them a chance to cope with it and
further
gain their confidence and high self-esteem.

To sum it up, both choices has its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion, attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
a wide range of necessary information
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them develop well.
Even though
attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is beneficial,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
supplementation from home will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
students to attain a high level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
and home teaching will
greatly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
students understand more and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
their character and attitudes that will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them in the near future.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. v. 45

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
437 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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