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As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. v.35

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. v. 35
Since the majority of adults spend a considerable amount of their time at work, job satisfaction has become instrumental in the well-being of an individual. This essay will first discuss what elements contribute to job satisfaction, and it will then address the question how likely it is that everyone will be happy with their jobs. The two most important things that lead to someone being satisfied at work are being treated with respect by managers and being compensated fairly. If those who are senior to an individual respect them as a person and value their contribution at work then this will elate the person and make them feel valuable. Fair compensation is also an important consideration because feeling underpaid can cause people to resent their bosses or look for another job. According to a recent survey by online job search website Monster. com, these two factors came on top where almost 80% agree that they would stick to their respective job roles if valued by managers and offered fair remuneration. With regards to the second question, it is unlikely that all workers can experience content with their career. The majority of people fail to reach their goal and as a result end up taking a post they really do not care about in return for a salary. The money earned is just enough to pay their living expenses which often means they go through periods of discontentment. For example, a poll conducted by the Guardian. com states that 70% of the people would leave their current job if it were not for the money. To conclude, being content with one’s career can have a profound impact on a person's well-being, and being paid fairly can maximise their sense of self-worth; however, job satisfaction for all workers is an unrealistic hope.
Since the majority of adults spend a considerable amount of their time at work,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction has become instrumental in the well-being of an individual. This essay will
first
discuss what elements contribute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction, and it will then address
This sounds awkward in English. The standard is "the question of how".
the question how
likely it is that everyone will be happy with their jobs.

The two most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things that lead to someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "is", "was", "were".
being
satisfied at work are
being treated
with respect by managers and
being compensated
fairly
. If those who are senior to an individual respect them as a person and value their contribution at work then this will elate the person and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel valuable.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Fair
compensation is
also
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
consideration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
feeling underpaid can cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to resent their bosses or look for another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. According to a recent survey by online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
search website Monster.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
, these two factors came on top where almost 80%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that they would stick to their respective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
roles if valued by managers and offered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
remuneration.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the second question, it is unlikely that all workers can experience content with their career. The majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
fail to reach their goal and
as a result
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up taking a post they
really
do not care about in return for a salary. The money earned is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to pay their living expenses which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
means they go through periods of discontentment.
For example
, a poll conducted by the Guardian.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
states that 70% of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
if it were not for the money.

To conclude
, being content with one’s career can have a profound impact on a person's well-being, and
being paid
fairly
can
Possible spelling mistake. 'maximise' is British English.
maximise
their sense of self-worth;
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction for all workers is an unrealistic hope.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. v. 35

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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