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Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion v.4

People these days have contradictory opinion regarding the role of school education in child’s development. Each opinion has its own pros and cons; in my opinion children has to go to school in order to learn things that are not covered in academic curriculum. School develops both academic and personal development skills in the students. Student that goes to the school have more advantage that the others in terms of the following aspects: • They learn to be more disciplined, mannered and organized. • Interaction with hundreds of different students and teachers gives them the patience to work in team and understand the nature of different people. • The up-to-date Academic knowledge makes the aware of what’s happening in the recent time in terms of different industries and fields. • Academic education introduces the students about History and how evolved we are now compared to the past. My manager has extra ordinary technical skills in networking and server management, but he lacks communication skills and he doesn’t know how to interact with people in a mannered way – because he has learnt never been to higher school. Teaching at home is important, but it can’t replace the school. My opinion regarding teaching at home is supportive, but I strongly believe that children needs to go to school and they should be taught at home as well. Learning from home has a lot of advantages as well, that I have listed below: • They have more time to work on the skill they are interested in, this will make them expert in their area of interest. • They will not waste their time doing subjects that they are not interested in and those courses that will not help them in their career building. My cousin brother is s successful YouTuber, he is Master in Business Administration; Meanwhile he was studying, after his school he used to put all his focus and efforts in building his YouTube channel. Now he runs and business and he has employed people who can do video editing and recording for this channel. Thus, my opinion is very clear that academic education should not be compromised at any cost, and children should allocate time at home for his area of interest. This would open for him higher opportunities then the children who does only school or home education. Both areas need to be covered in order for child to cope with upcoming economic crisis and high unemployment.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
these days have contradictory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
regarding the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in child’s development. Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros and cons; in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in order to learn things that are not covered in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
curriculum.

School develops both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
and personal development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Student
that goes to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have more advantage that the others in terms of the following aspects:

• They learn to be more disciplined, mannered and organized.

• Interaction with hundreds of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and teachers gives them the patience to work in team and understand the nature of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

• The up-to-date
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Academic
knowledge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
The phrase ‘the aware of’ is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between ‘the’ and ‘of’.
aware
of what’s happening in the recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in terms of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
industries and fields.

• Academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
introduces the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
about History and how evolved we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
compared to the past.

My manager has
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra ordinary
technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in networking and server management,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he lacks communication
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
skills and
he doesn’t know how to interact with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in a mannered way
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he has
Possible spelling mistake. ‘learnt’ is British English.
learnt
never been to higher school.

Teaching at home is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can’t replace the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
regarding teaching at home is supportive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
needs to go to
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
school and
they should
be taught
at home
as well
. Learning from home has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages
as well
, that I have listed below:

• They have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to work on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
they
are interested
in, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them expert in their area of interest.

• They will not waste their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
doing subjects that they are not interested in and those courses that will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in their career building.

My cousin brother is s successful YouTuber, he is Master in Business Administration; Meanwhile he was studying, after his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to put all his focus and efforts in building his YouTube channel.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
he runs and
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
business and
he has employed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who can do video editing and recording for this channel.

Thus
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should not
be compromised
at any cost, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should allocate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at home for his area of interest. This would open for him
Did you mean “higher opportunities than”?
higher opportunities then
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
Did you mean “do”? Alternatively, check whether the singular of ‘children’ should be used.
does
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Both areas need to
be covered
in order for child to cope with upcoming economic crisis and high unemployment.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

Essay
  American English
12 paragraphs
404 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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