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Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. v.17

Childern are the pillar for society. From the childhood, child development is very primary motive for every parents. Some people thinks that children should study at home and other thinks children should go to school. Lets discuss both views in the following paragraph. On the one hand, child development is very well-known topic. According to some people, if children study at home. It increase more child concentration for study and other things. Additionally, they more focused. By more focus, they can more creative and they enhance their more ideas. Moreover, in the home study, they learn a lot from their elders brother and sister. They gain more their life experience. Apart from this, parents are also more focused on the children needs and activity. So, it is positive development for studying at home. On the other hand, some people thinks children should go to school because it is very important thing. They think child should go to school because they learn new technologies from the school. They can take any help from teacher and they always avaible for help. Additionally, in the school child make social circle. Childern makes the friend. With friends, they can spend spare time and enjoy the movments with friends. In fact, social circle give the top notch experience to child. They can survive easily in the society. Since, children should also go to school for better development. In my opinion. If both sides work together it will great. It more helpful to child development for future. Children can learn from both sides. Parents should be spend time on the child study and children should go to as well school.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Childern
are the pillar for society. From the childhood,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
primary motive for every
The noun should probably be in the singular form: “parent”?
parents
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If ‘people’ is plural here, don’t use the third-person singular verb.
thinks
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at home and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Did you mean “Let’s” (let’s = let us; lets = 3rd person singular of ‘let’)?
Lets
discuss both views in the following paragraph.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well-known topic. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at home. It
After ‘It’, use the third-person verb form “increases”.
increase
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
concentration for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and other things.
Additionally
, they more focused. By more focus, they can more
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
creative and
they enhance their more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
Moreover
, in the home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, they learn a lot from their elders brother and sister. They gain more their life experience.

Apart from this, parents are
also
more focused on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
needs and activity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
for studying at home.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If ‘people’ is plural here, don’t use the third-person singular verb.
thinks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
should go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they learn new technologies from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. They can take any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from teacher and they always
Possible spelling mistake found.
avaible
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
Additionally
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
social circle.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Childern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the friend. With friends, they can spend spare time and enjoy the
Possible spelling mistake found.
movments
with friends. In fact, social circle give the
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
top notch
experience to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. They can survive
easily
in the society. Since,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
also
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for better development.

In my opinion.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
both sides work together it
A verb may be missing. Did you mean “will be great”?
will great
.
It seems that a verb is missing after “It”. Please verify.
It more
helpful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
for future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can learn from both sides. Parents should be
Consider using the past participle “spent”.
spend
time on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should go to
as well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
274 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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