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Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your opinion v.1

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your opinion v. 1
It is often argued that home schooling is better when compared with school tutoring. I believe that some of the merits of learning in an institution such as team work and good social interactions are more benefits to be considered when making a decision on which method to use. To begin with, home education allows a teacher to focus on individual attention which results in better academic performance. In addition, it also helps parents quickly discover a child's weakness which can quickly be improved on. Furthermore, it encourages bonding among family members because they tend to spend more time together. On the other hand, school faculty offer benefits such as team spirit, because children are encouraged to work together, it helps them to build team spirit early in life which also helps them later in life. Another reason to consider is that school learning helps children to build good social interaction skills which helps them to relate better in the real world. Lastly, there is exposure to so many other resources in school such as sports equipments, numerous books which may not be available at home. Statistics have shown that children who learn in a school environment turns out better in life. In conclusion, despite the numerous benefits that are associated with home teaching, I am of the opinion that the merits of school education outweighs home education hence parents should endeavour to opt for school education.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
This word is normally spelled as one.
home schooling
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
when compared with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
tutoring. I believe that
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
merits of learning in an institution such as team work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
social interactions are more benefits to
be considered
when making a decision on which method to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
a teacher to focus on individual attention which results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
academic performance.
In addition
, it
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
parents
quickly
discover a child's weakness which can
quickly
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
on.
Furthermore
, it encourages bonding among family members
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they tend to spend more time together.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
faculty offer benefits such as team spirit,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
children
are encouraged
to work together, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to build team spirit early in life which
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them later in life. Another reason to consider is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
children to build
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
social interaction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to relate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
in the real world.
Lastly
, there is exposure to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other resources in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
such as sports equipments, numerous books which may not be available at home. Statistics have shown that children who learn in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
environment turns out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
in life.

In conclusion
, despite the numerous benefits that
are associated
with home teaching, I am of the opinion that the merits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
outweighs home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
hence
parents should
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
to opt for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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