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Some people believe that success in life depends upon hard work and determination, while others believe that other factors like money and personal appearance are important. Discuss both view and give your opinion? v.2

Some people believe that success in life depends upon hard work and determination, while others believe that other factors like money and personal appearance are important. v. 2
In the modern world, many people are keen to think that the main factor of being successful is hard working, as if the people set the goal and achieved their purpose, this accomplishment is reached because of long hours working and determined. However, others feel that things such as external appearance and wealth are essential, if they are willing to succeed in their field. Nowadays, modern people reckon to think that the key component of success is dedication. It is true that if the individuals continue to work and move forward in order to get the desirable result, in many cases, they accomplish their purposes, as many well-known personalities such as political leaders, scientists and inventors dedicated their time and effort in their research and work. Accordingly, they achieved their goals. To illustrate, a famous American inventor Elon Musk claimed that he worked about 18 hours a day in order to devise his first project PayPal. On the other hand, some citizens are keen to think that the success in life is not depending on the determination, as many factors such as well-being and glory can lead to the prosperity. Therefore, individuals can hit the target because of their external appearance or money, as they can use their glory and currency in order to succeed in their field. For example, attractive women use their beauty for reaching some achievements in the model industry, whereas the wealthy people can utilize their currency for their business, as an authorized capital. In conclusion, although some people are willing to accomplish their purposes because of their attractiveness and richness, others feel that hard working and ambitious are the main components of prosperity. Personally, I believe that if the people will do their best, they can succeed. In this reason, I believe that things such as currency and beauty are not crucial as equal as ambitions and being dedicated.
In the modern world,
many
people
are keen to
think
that the main factor of being successful is
hard working
, as if the
people
set the goal and achieved their purpose, this accomplishment
is reached
because
of long hours working and determined.
However
, others feel that things such as external appearance and wealth are essential, if they are willing to succeed in their field.

Nowadays, modern
people
reckon to
think
that the key component of success is dedication. It is true that if the individuals continue to work and
move
forward in order to
get
the desirable result, in
many
cases, they accomplish their purposes, as
many
well-known personalities such as political leaders, scientists and inventors dedicated their time and effort in their research and work.
Accordingly
, they achieved their goals. To illustrate, a
famous
American inventor Elon Musk claimed that he worked about 18 hours a day in order to devise his
first
project PayPal.

On the other hand
,
some
citizens are keen to
think
that the success in life
is not depending
on the determination, as
many
factors such
as well
-being and glory can lead to the prosperity.
Therefore
, individuals can hit the target
because
of their external appearance or money, as they can
use
their glory and currency in order to succeed in their field.
For example
, attractive women
use
their beauty for reaching
some
achievements in the model industry, whereas the wealthy
people
can utilize their currency for their business, as an authorized capital.

In conclusion
, although
some
people
are willing to accomplish their purposes
because
of their attractiveness and richness, others feel that
hard working
and ambitious are the main components of prosperity.
Personally
, I believe that if the
people
will do their best, they can succeed. In this reason, I believe that things such as currency and beauty are not crucial as equal as ambitions and
being dedicated
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that success in life depends upon hard work and determination, while others believe that other factors like money and personal appearance are important. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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