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Many people try to look younger than their age. What are the reasons people do this. Do you think this is a good thing or bad thing. v.14

Many people try to look younger than their age. What are the reasons people do this. Do you think this is a good thing or bad thing. v. 14
In this modern world, many people are reckoned to think that looking younger than their age is a good thing. After pondering this phenomenon, I deem to agree with those who find this perception appropriate. In this essay, I will discuss multiple factors associated, followed by relevant examples. Firstly, While, looking young and pretty is a trend these days, Public attention is one of the major reasons behind this. This is because, everyone wants to intimidate their opposite gender, which could be only possible if they look refreshing. For example, It is quite common for men in the early thirties to stay in shape and look fresh, to attract females, who are in the twenties. If people would stop trying to be that way, there would be a serious issue for them to connect socially, leading them to mundane life. Those who held the assumption that people try to look younger just to seek public attention. Although A lot of people do it to keep themselves in good shape, they do it to maintain a healthy lifestyle as well. For instance, many people participate in marathons to keep the spark of health and fitness in them alive. In contrast, if people stopped pursuing a healthy lifestyle, they would end up getting obese and unfit. To sum up, Although, people are trying to stay fit just to gain attention, there are many people, who are doing it genuinely to maintain a healthy long-lasting life. In my opinion, Either way, it is vital to stay fit and look good, keeping the other motives aside.
In this modern world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are reckoned
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that looking younger than their age is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing. After pondering this phenomenon, I deem to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
find this perception appropriate. In this essay, I will discuss multiple factors associated, followed by relevant examples.

Firstly
, While, looking young and pretty is a trend these days, Public attention is one of the major reasons behind this. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, everyone wants to intimidate their opposite gender, which could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
refreshing.
For example
, It is quite common for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in the early thirties to stay in shape and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
fresh, to attract females,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are in the twenties. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
trying to be that way, there would be a serious issue for them to connect
socially
, leading them to mundane life.

Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
held the assumption that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
younger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to seek public attention. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
shape, they do it to maintain a healthy lifestyle
as well
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
participate in marathons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the spark of health and fitness in them alive.
In contrast
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
pursuing a healthy lifestyle, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up getting obese and unfit.

To sum up, Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are trying to stay fit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to gain attention, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are doing it
genuinely
to maintain a healthy long-lasting life. In my opinion, Either way, it is vital to stay fit and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, keeping the other motives aside.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Many people try to look younger than their age. What are the reasons people do this. Do you think this is a good thing or bad thing. v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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